Comedian Quotes
George, you're too old to get married again. Not only can't you cut the mustard, honey, you're too old to open the jar.
At a dinner to honour George Burns
Time's Person of the Year is quite an honor, unless you are named in the year when Zika broke out; the Earth was the hottest it has ever been; Muhammad Ali, Prince, and David Bowie died; Syria exploded; Brexit happened; and oh, Donald Trump was elected president. Congratulations! You are the face of the worst year ever.
Donald Trump has been named Time magazine’s Person of the Year
If they ever invent a vibrator that can open pickle jars, we've had it.
On the bleak future facing men