Amy Schumer Quotes

5 Sourced Quotes

If you're a true introvert, other people are basically energy vampires. You don't hate them; you just have to be strategic about when you expose yourself to them — like the sun. They give you life, sure, but they can also burn you.

Amy Schumer

It's Matt, but not really. He's there, but not really. His face is kind of distorted, and his eyes seem like he can't focus on me. He's actually trying to see me from the side, like a shark. Hey! he yells, too loud, and gives me a hug, too hard. He's fucking wasted. And then came the sex, and I use that word very loosely. His penis was so soft, it felt like one of those de-stress things that slips from your hand?

Amy Schumer

Being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy. It means you enjoy being alone. Not just enjoy it — you need it.

Amy Schumer

I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story — I will.

Amy Schumer

I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.

Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer

Born: June 1, 1981 (age 44)

Bio: Amy Beth Schumer is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actress, and producer.

Known for:

Inside Amy Schumer (Since 2013)
Trainwreck (2015)
Amy Schumer: Live at the Apollo (2015)
Last Comic Standing (2014 – 2015)
Reality Bites Back (2008)

Amy Schumer on Wikipedia

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