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Woody Allen Quotes
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Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
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Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.
Woody Allen
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I recently turned sixty. Practically a third of my life is over.
Woody Allen
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
Woody Allen
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This is my perspective and has always been my perspective on life: I have a very grim, pessimistic view of it. I always have, since I was a little boy. It hasn't gotten worse with age or anything. I do feel that it's a grim, painful, nightmarish, meaningless experience, and that the only way that you can be happy is if you tell yourself some lies and deceive yourself.
Woody Allen
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She quarreled with the nanny and accused her of brushing Misha's teeth sideways rather than up and down.
Woody Allen
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I have also reviewed my own financial obligations, which have puffed up recently like a hammered thumb.
Woody Allen
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On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
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Harry: No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
Woody Allen
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I was depressed... I was suicidal; as a matter of fact, I would have killed myself but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
Woody Allen
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Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat, college.
Woody Allen
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And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
Woody Allen
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I'm not really the heroic type. I was beat up by Quakers.
Woody Allen
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Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
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This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
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To a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat — especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
Woody Allen
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead—not sick, not wounded—dead.
Woody Allen
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
Woody Allen
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I took a course in speed reading, learning to read straight down the middle of the page, and I was able to go through War and Peace in 20 minutes. It's about Russia
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This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.
Woody Allen
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Pale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively… But it wasn't just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could 'relate without getting close.' For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen
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Allen:
That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?
Woman:
Yes, it is.
Allen:
What does it say to you?
Woman:
It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless, bleak straitjacket in a black, absurd cosmos.
Allen:
What are you doing Saturday night?
Woman:
Committing suicide.
Allen:
What about Friday night?
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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Harry: (On being called a self-hating Jew) Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.
Woody Allen
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Quote of the day
Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.
Dorothy L. Sayers
Woody Allen
Wikipedia
Born:
December 1, 1935
(age 88)
Bio:
Woody Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker and playwright, whose career spans more than five decades.
Known for:
Annie Hall (1977)
Manhattan (1979)
Café Society (2016)
Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
Midnight in Paris (2011)
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