Woody Allen - Thought Quotes

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The psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty and I said, 'It is if you're doing it right.'

Woody Allen

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind — a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

Woody Allen

Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.

Woody Allen

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Woody Allen

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Woody Allen

A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight.

Woody Allen

There have been times when I've thought of suicide but with my luck it'd probably be a temporary solution.

Woody Allen

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife — a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Woody Allen