Woody Allen - Death Quotes

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The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen
It is impossible to experience one's own death objectively and still carry a tune.

Woody Allen
Agathon: But all that talk about death being the same as sleep.
Socrates: Yes, the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, "Everybody up, it's morning," it's very hard to find your slippers.

Woody Allen
My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it,
All I can do is wait for it,

Woody Allen
And so I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Actually, make that "I run through the valley of the shadow of death" - in order to get OUT of the valley of the shadow of death more quickly, you see.

Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife — a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Woody Allen
Death is a state of non-being. That which is not, does not exist. Therefore death does not exist. Only truth exists. Truth and beauty. Each is interchangeable, but are aspects of themselves. Er, what specifically did they say they had in mind for me?

Woody Allen
Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.

Woody Allen