Darynda Jones Quotes

162 Sourced Quotes

What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and soul. I want you in my bed every night. I want you there when I wake up in the morning. I want your clothes strung across my apartment and your scent on my skin.

Darynda Jones
How would you like your eggs?" I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?

Darynda Jones
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

Darynda Jones
I'll call if I break a leg or get eaten by a bear." "Play like a rock." "Now?" "No, if a bear starts eating you." I thought for a moment before replying. "Do they have screaming, sobbing rocks, 'cause that's probably what I'll be doing if a bear is gnawing my arm off." "It would be difficult to just lay there and be eaten alive, huh?" "Ya think?

Darynda Jones
After a long, labored sigh, I said, She was really happy when I got there. I'm pretty sure she was suicidal when I left. You do have that effect on people.

Darynda Jones
I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.

Darynda Jones
If life hands you lemons, keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt

Darynda Jones
He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.

Darynda Jones
He had given me so much information, I wanted some time to absorb it all, but I didn't want to leave him. Not like this. Not ever, as long as I lived. Or until I had to get back on the case. Whichever came first.

Darynda Jones
Can I jump in your body and make out with my wife through you? I fought a grin. It doesn't really work that way. Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I'm in your body? No. I can pay. I have money. How much we talking?

Darynda Jones
In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything.

Darynda Jones
Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.

Darynda Jones
Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.

Darynda Jones
Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me." "I can't go with you." "Is it because of my questionable morals?" "No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school." "Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bother you?

Darynda Jones
I know how you feel. I've been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that's what I think he said. I wasn't really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?

Darynda Jones
Hey, boss. Where are you? she asked. I just picked up something to eat. What about professional belly dancers? Um, I don't know, maybe with horseradish.

Darynda Jones
I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

Darynda Jones
An emergency stash of Thin Mints. Frickin' Girl Scouts. Those things were way to addictive. They had to be laced with crack." Charlie Davidson Fourth Grave Beneath my Feet

Darynda Jones
I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.

Darynda Jones
I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.

Darynda Jones
Looks like macho boy's cool just melted like a Slush Puppie in August.

Darynda Jones
I had yet to be a mother, but I would have thought it difficult to forget something it took thirty-seven hours of excruciating pain to push out from between my legs.

Darynda Jones
I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker

Darynda Jones
You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn't. You're not nearly as muscular.

Darynda Jones
Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony.

Darynda Jones
Just in case, though, I stormed into my apartment, tossed a quick hello to Mr. Wong, then rummaged through my entertainment center to lay out all my exorcism equipment. I kept it in my entertainment center because exorcisms were nothing if not entertaining.

Darynda Jones
You're just using me for my body. You don't have a body, I'd remind him. Throw that in my face. Technically, you don't have a face either.

Darynda Jones
I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, "This is Beam Me Up." Then to my right. "And this is Scotty." Garret chuckled and buried his face in his hands. He asked.

Darynda Jones
Ambulances were cool. You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts, I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn't leave someone's life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn't alien-probe his orifices.

Darynda Jones
That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason. You're not? I asked, hope softening my voice. Oh, no, I'm more than capable. I just didn't realize you knew that.

Darynda Jones