Darynda Jones - Day Quotes

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I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. We hooking up? Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous? Um, I wasn't aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience. Charley. Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?

Darynda Jones

A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same.

Darynda Jones

There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt

Darynda Jones

While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.

Darynda Jones

I should've known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me

Darynda Jones

But he was a good landlord. When my heater stopped working in mid-December, it took him only two weeks to get it fixed. Of course, it took me knocking on his door in need of a warm place to sleep to get it that way, but one night on his sofa, where I'd suddenly developed night terrors and epilepsy, and that puppy was running like a Mercedes the next day. It was awesome.

Darynda Jones

Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.

Darynda Jones