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What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish." "Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?
Darynda Jones
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Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte
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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.
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In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?
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I lowered the gun but didn't holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
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Oh, my god! I said to Reyes, my eyes radiating accusations at him. She took your picture? Just what kind of game are you playing? You're under arrest, mister. His mouth tilted and a dimple emerged on one cheek as I took his wrist and threw him against a wall. Or, well, urged him toward it. I held him against the cool wood with one hand and frisked him with the other.
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Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said. "Okay." "One, are you sitting down?" "Yes." "Two, are you mentally stable?" "More than you'll ever be." Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?" "What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.
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We could make this work, you know." "I will knee you in the groin." "I could give you a night you will never forget." "Because you will be writhing in agony all night and I will laugh unmercifully. It will be unforgettable.
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I noticed you tore down Donovan's house." He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. "He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.
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While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.
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The funny thing about GPS was it didn't always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I'd get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. Wut the foock?
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And then she glared at me, the same glare my stepmother used to give me when I gave her the Nazi salute. That woman was so touchy about her resemblance to Hitler.
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I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.
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Rocket," I said, straightening in the chair. "Donovan was just helping me with my contacts." Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. "Did you swallow them?
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I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking. I get it, Swopes. He's not the kind of man you take home to meet your stepmom. I rethought that. Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul?
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For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.
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Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.
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I should've known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me
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He's helped me a lot over the years." "I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours." "I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
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Cookie dropped her purse and tried to catch it midair. In the process, she knocked over a vase. When she lunged for the vase, she slipped on the tile and overturned an entire table. A lovely handblown piece of glass flew in my direction, and all I could think as I caught it was, Really? Again? We were going to have to practice muscle control.
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I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn't, it had a lot of explaining to do.
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Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well.
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I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My bad" Charley Davidson.
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Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
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Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
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She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.
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I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.
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Can I brush your hair? she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can't live with 'em. Can't eat 'em for lunch.
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Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.
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Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
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Quote of the day
Good authors, too, who once knew better words Now only use four-letter words Writing prose — Anything goes.
Cole Porter
Darynda Jones
Born:
1965
(age 59)
Bio:
Darynda Jones is the American author of the Charley Davidson series of paranormal romantic thrillers and a young adult series called The Darklight Trilogy. She lives in New Mexico.
Known for:
First Grave on the Right (2011)
The Dirt on Ninth Grave: A Novel (2016)
The Curse of Tenth Grave (2016)
Eighth Grave after Dark (2015)
Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet (2012)
Most used words:
guy
body
shirt
asked
time
three
people
left
night
mouth
day
hot
man
thirty
apartment
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