Darynda Jones Quotes

162 Sourced Quotes

What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish." "Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana?

Darynda Jones
Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte

Darynda Jones
His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.

Darynda Jones
In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?

Darynda Jones
I lowered the gun but didn't holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.

Darynda Jones
Oh, my god! I said to Reyes, my eyes radiating accusations at him. She took your picture? Just what kind of game are you playing? You're under arrest, mister. His mouth tilted and a dimple emerged on one cheek as I took his wrist and threw him against a wall. Or, well, urged him toward it. I held him against the cool wood with one hand and frisked him with the other.

Darynda Jones
Before I tell you, I have to know three things," I said. "Okay." "One, are you sitting down?" "Yes." "Two, are you mentally stable?" "More than you'll ever be." Well, that was uncalled for. "And three, how do you spell schizophrenia?" "What does that have to do with anything?" "Nothing. I just wanted to see if you'd tell me.

Darynda Jones
We could make this work, you know." "I will knee you in the groin." "I could give you a night you will never forget." "Because you will be writhing in agony all night and I will laugh unmercifully. It will be unforgettable.

Darynda Jones
I noticed you tore down Donovan's house." He lifted his gaze until it locked with mine. "He's alive because he left town. His house chose to stay. It paid the price.

Darynda Jones
While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.

Darynda Jones
The funny thing about GPS was it didn't always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I'd get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. Wut the foock?

Darynda Jones
And then she glared at me, the same glare my stepmother used to give me when I gave her the Nazi salute. That woman was so touchy about her resemblance to Hitler.

Darynda Jones
I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.

Darynda Jones
Rocket," I said, straightening in the chair. "Donovan was just helping me with my contacts." Donovan raised his brows humorously. Rocket furrowed his. "Did you swallow them?

Darynda Jones
I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking. I get it, Swopes. He's not the kind of man you take home to meet your stepmom. I rethought that. Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul?

Darynda Jones
For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.

Darynda Jones
Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.

Darynda Jones
I should've known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me

Darynda Jones
He's helped me a lot over the years." "I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours." "I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.

Darynda Jones
Cookie dropped her purse and tried to catch it midair. In the process, she knocked over a vase. When she lunged for the vase, she slipped on the tile and overturned an entire table. A lovely handblown piece of glass flew in my direction, and all I could think as I caught it was, Really? Again? We were going to have to practice muscle control.

Darynda Jones
I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn't, it had a lot of explaining to do.

Darynda Jones
Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well.

Darynda Jones
I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My bad" Charley Davidson.

Darynda Jones
Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.

Darynda Jones
Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.

Darynda Jones
She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.

Darynda Jones
I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

Darynda Jones
Can I brush your hair? she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can't live with 'em. Can't eat 'em for lunch.

Darynda Jones
Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.

Darynda Jones
Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

Darynda Jones