Darynda Jones Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

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Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.

Darynda Jones
Don't judge me because I'm quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.

Darynda Jones
It's all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

Darynda Jones
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

Darynda Jones
Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster

Darynda Jones
I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.—T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones
I was just passing by. Saw the commotion. Figured you were involved.

Darynda Jones
I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

Darynda Jones
Dude, I said, leaning over the desk, I'm about as psychic as a carrot.

Darynda Jones
Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.

Darynda Jones
Looks like macho boy's cool just melted like a Slush Puppie in August.

Darynda Jones
That boy needs a hobby." "Stalking is a hobby." "So is serial killing.

Darynda Jones
If life hands you lemons, keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt

Darynda Jones
I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.

Darynda Jones
Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way…

Darynda Jones
Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.

Darynda Jones
I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

Darynda Jones
I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker

Darynda Jones
Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte

Darynda Jones
Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

Darynda Jones
Paperwork wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the paper. And the work.

Darynda Jones
Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.

Darynda Jones
Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?

Darynda Jones
He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.

Darynda Jones
Love was not only blind, it often careened into Blithering Idiotsville as well.

Darynda Jones
When life hands you lemons say, "Lemons? What else have you got?" - bumper sticker

Darynda Jones
I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality.

Darynda Jones
What did one say to a stalker? Um, pardon me, Mr.Stalker, but could you, like, not?

Darynda Jones
But we'd never really seen eye to eye. Mostly 'cause he was much taller than I was.

Darynda Jones