Darynda Jones Quotes

162 Sourced Quotes

He'd actually hit me! It didn't matter that hitting me wasn't really like hitting a regular girl and I'd be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I'd just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.

Darynda Jones
SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones
Dude, I said, leaning over the desk, I'm about as psychic as a carrot.

Darynda Jones
That boy needs a hobby." "Stalking is a hobby." "So is serial killing.

Darynda Jones
Death comes to those who wait. And to those who don't. So either way…

Darynda Jones
Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?

Darynda Jones
Is it just me or does the fact that you live in the same building you were abducted into seem a bit morbid?" "Pffft. It's just you," I said, discounting the entire bizarre ghoulish thing.

Darynda Jones
My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names. I pointed to my right breast. This is Danger. Then my left. And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly. After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, You named your breasts? I turned my back to him with a shrug. I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.

Darynda Jones
Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.

Darynda Jones
Apparently, this really was Kill Charley Davidson Week. Or at least Horribly Maim Her.... It would probably never get government recognition, though, destined to be underappreciated like Halloween or Thesaurus Day.

Darynda Jones
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.

Darynda Jones