Ambulances were cool. You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts, I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn't leave someone's life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn't alien-probe his orifices.

First Grave On The Right: Number 1 in series (ed. Hachette UK, 2011) - ISBN: 9780748130351