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Men tuned into women but not tuned into their own hurts usually retained the attitude that women needed special protection.
Warren Farrell
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As I looked more carefully at the listening matrix I saw that during the past twenty years we had taken a magnifying glass to the first of these four quadrants, the female experience of powerlessness. I saw I was subconsciously making a false assumption: The more deeply I understood women's experience of powerlessness, the more I assumed men had the power women did not have. In fact, what I was understanding was the female experience of male power.
Warren Farrell
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Just as women needed the help of the law to enter the workplace in the 20th century, men will need the help of the law to love their children in the 21st century.
Warren Farrell
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Men are still playing protector of women's transitions, and both sexes expect only men to make transitions on their own.
Warren Farrell
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Women attempt suicide more often because they want to become the priority of those they love rather than always prioritizing them.
Warren Farrell
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Even allegedly gender-neutral words like sexist imply slights only against women.
Warren Farrell
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Humans tend to start the process of change by acknowledging themselves—thus blacks asserted black pride and black is beautiful; women declared I am woman, I am strong ; men are saying I am man, I am okay. After a quarter of a century of male bashing, that's not a bad start.
Warren Farrell
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In brief, when a man fails as a wallet, we put him in prison; when a woman fails as a mother, we offer her social services. We're taking a criminal approach to men, a social services approach to women.
Warren Farrell
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Black men, Indian men, and gay men have all have something in common: They do not provide an economic security blanket for women.
Warren Farrell
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When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice of a career met the sacrifices in a career, the fantasy of a career became the reality of trade-offs. Women developed career ambivalence.
Warren Farrell
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In one decade, women had gotten more protection against offensive jokes in the workplace than men had gotten in centuries against being killed in the workplace.
Warren Farrell
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Because men complained less, we made the false assumption that the complaints women experienced were only women's complaints and, therefore, only women's problems. Which created the rationale for women's problems to be solved – or at least addressed – by public policy.
Warren Farrell
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Sexual harassment legislation in its present form makes all men unequal to all women.
Warren Farrell
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When men give lines, women learn to not trust men. When women wear makeup, men learn to not trust women. Male lines and female makeup are divorce training.
Warren Farrell
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Single women often fear that the men they are going out with wouldn't be comfortable with less career and more child. Perhaps. If a woman selects a man with a lot of career ambition, she'll get what she selected. The solution? Choose among men who would love to be married to a career woman who valued his being home full-time with the children for a few years. Can't find these men? State your interest on your Match. com profile—the Internet's the best net to catch the right fish. You'll be surprised.
Warren Farrell
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It is often said that women are a civilizing balance to the innately warlike male. By taking care of the killing for women it could be said that men civilized women. When survival was the issue, men killing to protect what women bore was the male form of nurturance.
Warren Farrell
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On oilrigs men who only work an 8-hour day are contemptuously called nine-to-fivers. In stark contrast, women are more likely not to take risks, even when the risks are minimal. What's the message to our sons? Our praise of our sons when they risk physical danger teaches them that a willingness to be physically abused creates love. Abuse-as-love? Yes.
Warren Farrell
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Although a government study found that men's health was much worse than women's health or the health of any minority group, headlines around the country read: 'Minorities Face Large Health Care Gap.' They did not say: 'Men Face Large Health Care Gap.' Why? Because we associate the sacrifice of men's lives with the saving of the rest of us, and this association leads us to carry in our unconscious an incentive not to care about men living longer.
Warren Farrell
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Cosmopolitan is the best-selling magazine to single women. Cosmo tells single women how they can get a man to commit and achieve her primary fantasy of better homes and gardens. It's the single female's version of Playboy. Pornography is the male primary fantasy—access to as many beautiful women as desired without risk of rejection—at a price he can afford!
Warren Farrell
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The Industrial Revolution, then, took men's occasional absence from home — previously needed only in wartime and for hunting — and made it the norm. This increasing division of labor magnified the division of men's and women's interests. It magnified the belief in the maternal instinct and the reality of the distant father. Prior to industrialization, divorces usually led to children living with dads. Not after.
Warren Farrell
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While the label date rape has helped women articulate the most dramatic aspect of dating from women's perspective, men have no labels to help them articulate the most traumatic aspects of dating from their perspective. Now, of course, the most traumatic aspect is the possibility of being accused of date rape by a woman to whom he thought he was making love. If men did label the worst aspects of the traditional male role, though, they might label them date robbery, date rejection, date responsibility, date fraud, and date lying.
Warren Farrell
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It is important for a father who feels pushed away to say, in effect, "When you do that, I feel unwanted as a father," or "I feel my rough-housing is not bad parenting; it's my contribution to helping our child take risks." Women cannot hear what men do not say. – page 105.
Warren Farrell
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When women and men have approximately equal life expectancies, it seems to be because women die not only in childbirth (fewer than thought) but about equal from… diseases; poor sanitation and water; inadequate healthcare; and diseases of malnutrition. In industrialized societies, early deaths are caused more by diseases triggered by stress, which breaks down the immune system. It is since stress has become the key factor that men have died so much sooner than women.
Warren Farrell
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After a conflict, women are not only more likely to turn to other womenfriends for support, but are nine times more likely to be with their children should conflict become divorce.
Warren Farrell
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Programs like TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families, formerly known as AFDC) and WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) subsidize the exclusion of dads. In effect, they create, as we have seen, future welfare recipients. Or tax spenders.
Warren Farrell
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Quote of the day
Autumn burned brightly, a running flame through the mountains, a torch flung to the trees.
Faith Baldwin
Warren Farrell
Creative Commons
Born:
June 26, 1943
(age 80)
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