Warren Farrell - Child Quotes

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If we both ignore the unique contribution of male-style parenting and jail a man who responsibly contributes it, fatherhood becomes another hazardous occupation. More precisely, it becomes the largest 100%-male hazardous occupation. And in the process, our children lose one of the greatest potential gifts of Stage II — genuine fatherhood. That's the bad news. The good news is that there are ways of creating a father and child reunion....

Warren Farrell
When a dad admits he is wrong or asks for help, he allows the child to see him- or herself as adequate even when she or he is also wrong. It encourages children to make suggestions and, therefore, to discover their creativity because they have a chance of making a contribution. – page 120.

Warren Farrell
When a parent denies a child its parent time, that parent is denying the child its child support — its psychological child support.

Warren Farrell
When a government subsidy deprives the child of its dad the government is really subsidizing child abuse.

Warren Farrell
It is important for a father who feels pushed away to say, in effect, "When you do that, I feel unwanted as a father," or "I feel my rough-housing is not bad parenting; it's my contribution to helping our child take risks." Women cannot hear what men do not say. – page 105.

Warren Farrell
Single women often fear that the men they are going out with wouldn't be comfortable with less career and more child. Perhaps. If a woman selects a man with a lot of career ambition, she'll get what she selected. The solution? Choose among men who would love to be married to a career woman who valued his being home full-time with the children for a few years. Can't find these men? State your interest on your Match. com profile—the Internet's the best net to catch the right fish. You'll be surprised.

Warren Farrell
In a sense, in the area of child care, children's relationships with parents' working has come full circle. We have gone from the mom-and-pop store (or mom-and-pop farm), with its integration of child care and work, to children-at-home and dad-at-work; to the mom-plus-daddy working at home, with its integration of childcare and work again. From mom-and-pop back to mom-and-pop.

Warren Farrell
The worst form anger can take is that of a parent who feels her or his chance for winning my child is enhanced by ruining my ex. The law has given the most vindictive parent an invitation to play the abuse card. This is the Great Temptation.

Warren Farrell
When we speak of mom winning custody or of dad getting visitation time, we speak of someone winning, someone losing. When we speak of mom or dad spending parent time with a child, we speak of two parents, not a parent versus a visitor.

Warren Farrell
When we commit violence against an infant girl, we call it child abuse; when we commit violence against an infant boy, we call it circumcision.

Warren Farrell
The money men make from their willingness to work the least desirable hours is not a sign of discrimination against women, but a sign of the willingness of mostly married men to lose sleep to support the family as their wife loses sleep to feed the child. A willingness to do the uncomfortable shifts is one reason married men earn more than twice what never-married men earn. Men's contribution, made at night, need not be lost in the dark.

Warren Farrell
Survey 2001: Men who never married, never had a child, worked full time and were college educated earn only 85% of what women with the same criteria earn.

Warren Farrell
The more a man is trained to be a man, the more he is trained to protect women and children, not hurt women and children. He is trained to volunteer to die before even a stranger is hurt – especially a woman or child.

Warren Farrell
Divorce laws have given women economic support after divorce; no laws have given men emotional support after divorce. Men are required to continue their obligations to their exes in the form of alimony or child support; women are not required to continue their obligation to their exes in the form of homemaking or nurturing.

Warren Farrell
Sexual Harassment Legislation often creates a hostile environment, an environment of female-as-child.

Warren Farrell
The irony of primary parent laws is that on the one hand feminists were arguing for women's equal rights to jointly-created career assets that emanated from the male financial womb, but arguing against men's equal rights to jointly-created children that emanated from the woman's child-bearing womb.

Warren Farrell
When we train men for war, we lose some part of every man we train — even if we win the war. When we train men to be better nurturers, even men who fail the course will have won. And so will every child they ever meet. Training men to love is a nation's best investment.

Warren Farrell
There is virtually no funding to study the validity of the more muted complaints of men: to study when a false accusation is being used as a weapon to keep the children from dad; or when the child is being bad-mouthed by the other parent; or when access to the child is being prevented; or when statistics about deadbeat dads are including men who are dead, unemployed, or denied their children; or when men are victims of domestic violence.

Warren Farrell
Social policy that reunites father and child must always confront itself with the question, Are we paying dads to stay, or to go away? If a single mother receives more money when the father isn't around than when he is around, there will be fewer fathers around. The government will become her substitute husband.

Warren Farrell
Teaching the child to treat boundaries seriously teaches the child to respect the rights and needs of others. Thinking of another's needs creates empathy.

Warren Farrell
The most unacknowledged spending expectation among women is the amount of time spent by single mothers caring for children, not only physically, but psychologically. It is my feeling that only a small percentage of a mother's time is normally compensated for by child support, given what a woman could make adding these hours to workforce hours… It is why women who have never been married and never had children earn so much more in the workplace than women who have had children.

Warren Farrell
Many women are discovering that the motherhood instinct implies a responsibility to be certain children have dads — everyday, not far away; and some are aware that economic independence requires not holding on to her child as if it were her job.

Warren Farrell
During what years should a child be introduced to better ways of giving and receiving criticisms – to what I call relationship language? Before school age. The best teacher? Parents.

Warren Farrell
Is a man's body at stake? Any time a man is asked to work to pay child support, he is using his body, his time, his life — not for nine months, but for a minimum of 18 to 21 years. So the motto of the feminist with integrity is, It's a woman's and man's right to choose because it is a woman's and man's body at stake.

Warren Farrell
The more the father is involved, the more easily the child makes open, receptive, and trusting contact with new people in its life.

Warren Farrell