Warren Farrell - Children Quotes

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Schools currently excel in encouraging children to express opinions, but are deficient in encouraging children to say, for example, Oh, that's different from my perspective – tell me more.

Warren Farrell
If we both ignore the unique contribution of male-style parenting and jail a man who responsibly contributes it, fatherhood becomes another hazardous occupation. More precisely, it becomes the largest 100%-male hazardous occupation. And in the process, our children lose one of the greatest potential gifts of Stage II — genuine fatherhood. That's the bad news. The good news is that there are ways of creating a father and child reunion....

Warren Farrell
In a Stage I survival-focused world, a father needed to be a problem-solver. He needed to tough it out by denying feelings. He needed to persuade, argue, debate, set rules, distinguish right from wrong without flexibility. These skills made him eligible, they brought him a wife and children. In every sense of the word, these skills were his relationship language. Problem is, toughing it out fed his loved ones' mouths, but didn't nurture his loved ones' souls.

Warren Farrell
If we penalize mothers for denial of visitation time we must also penalize fathers who don't show up for visitation time. The issue is not fathers' rights to visitation time, but both parents obligations to their children. The issue is how to make both parents real parents despite what parenting was never designed to deal with — divorce.

Warren Farrell
When a man is forced into early retirement, he is often being 'given up for a younger man.' Being forced into early retirement can be to a man what being 'given up for a younger woman' is for a woman… Why do many men get more upset by retirement than women do from the empty nest —when their children leave home? When females retire from children, they can try a career; when a man retires from a career, his children are gone.

Warren Farrell
Men for whom divorce means walking out of their children's lives except when they choose to see the children are the male equivalent of the adolescent feminists: men who want options without obligations. Morally, they have no right to walk out. A law that allows that is similarly immoral. Primary Parent laws are just such laws.

Warren Farrell
Many women are discovering that the motherhood instinct implies a responsibility to be certain children have dads — everyday, not far away; and some are aware that economic independence requires not holding on to her child as if it were her job.

Warren Farrell
The irony of primary parent laws is that on the one hand feminists were arguing for women's equal rights to jointly-created career assets that emanated from the male financial womb, but arguing against men's equal rights to jointly-created children that emanated from the woman's child-bearing womb.

Warren Farrell
Raising children was not designed for single parents. (Which is why divorce was such a taboo prior to birth control.)

Warren Farrell
What is the impact on our children of this international Sisterhood is Victimhood bonding?

Warren Farrell
Feminists often discuss women having two jobs: work and children. True. But no one discusses those divorced and remarried men who have three jobs: work, and two sets of children to nurture and financially support.

Warren Farrell
Our love for children is so immediate in part because we feel their powerlessness immediately; conversely, part of the way we deny our love for men is by denying men's powerlessness. Too often we have confused love for men with respect for them, especially for their power to take care of us—-which is really just love for ourselves.

Warren Farrell
The Industrial Revolution, then, took men's occasional absence from home — previously needed only in wartime and for hunting — and made it the norm. This increasing division of labor magnified the division of men's and women's interests. It magnified the belief in the maternal instinct and the reality of the distant father. Prior to industrialization, divorces usually led to children living with dads. Not after.

Warren Farrell
Women are socialized to take advantage of four informal options for emotional support: husbands; womenfriends; children; and parents. Men are socialized to take advantage of only one of these informal options: their wife or womanfriend.

Warren Farrell
Visitation reflects the era of the absentee father; parent time influences the re-emergence of the involved father. Visitation reflects the destruction of the family; parent time influences the reconstruction of the family. Parent time influences an era that understands that as either parents loses, so lose the children.

Warren Farrell
Programs like TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families, formerly known as AFDC) and WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) subsidize the exclusion of dads. In effect, they create, as we have seen, future welfare recipients. Or tax spenders.

Warren Farrell
Both parents' rights must be in balance so children can grow up with a balance between both parents.

Warren Farrell
By starving our children of men, we have made them more vulnerable to the very abuse we are trying to prevent. – page 97.

Warren Farrell
A paucity of funding from private and government sources would be much less a problem if billions of dollars each year were not funding feminist perspectives on men. This funding leads to Women's Studies without Men's Studies; to studies about deadbeat dads, but not dead broke or dead-ended dads — or moms who deny dads access to children, or make false accusations to obtain children.

Warren Farrell
If we want our children to have a balance between their abilities to earn money and show love, it will help if both their parents model that balance. – page 114.

Warren Farrell
The more a man is trained to be a man, the more he is trained to protect women and children, not hurt women and children. He is trained to volunteer to die before even a stranger is hurt – especially a woman or child.

Warren Farrell
No legend told its children of beautiful princesses falling in love with conscientious objectors.

Warren Farrell
The people considered the most in need of protection were women and children. The sex considered most disposable was men – or males....

Warren Farrell
The deeper purpose of a more positive attitude toward men is a better life for the children who are parented by the men who are their dads and stepdads; less shame for our sons who will become men; and, for our daughters, a deeper understanding of men's desire to please that leaves them feeling their willingness to please is not unrequited but returned—allowing our daughters to feel less lonely and more loved. If we earn more and love less, we pay for a home in which we do not live.

Warren Farrell
Just as women needed the help of the law to enter the workplace in the 20th century, men will need the help of the law to love their children in the 21st century.

Warren Farrell