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The deeper purpose of a more positive attitude toward men is a better life for the children who are parented by the men who are their dads and stepdads; less shame for our sons who will become men; and, for our daughters, a deeper understanding of men's desire to please that leaves them feeling their willingness to please is not unrequited but returned—allowing our daughters to feel less lonely and more loved. If we earn more and love less, we pay for a home in which we do not live.
Warren Farrell
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From these biased studies come biased social policy. Hundreds of millions of dollars to enforce sanctions against fathers who don't pay mothers; almost nothing to enforce sanctions against mothers who don't allow fathers to see children.
Warren Farrell
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Women will risk their lives to protect children, but rarely risk their lives to protect an adult man.
Warren Farrell
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Industrialization created the Father's Catch-22 : a dad loving his children by being away from the love of his children.
Warren Farrell
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The Male Teacher Corps not only exposes children to men from a variety of professions, but exposes children to men with more risk-taking, entrepreneurial male energy and values, creating a balance between exposure to the male and female value systems.
Warren Farrell
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The people considered the most in need of protection were women and children. The sex considered most disposable was men – or males....
Warren Farrell
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No legend told its children of beautiful princesses falling in love with conscientious objectors.
Warren Farrell
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We need to fund relationship language in our schools so that future parents will know how to communicate about whether they want children; to communicate with the children they have, and teach their children how to communicate with the world. Technical progress without social skills is a Tower of Babel.
Warren Farrell
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At this moment in history, millions of 'working dads' are desiring to do what they do not feel they have the right to do: be more devoted as a dad, less devoted as a worker. This feeling is far more ubiquitous among men executives than women executives in many areas of the world because, for instance, Asia-Pacific women executives today are more than six times as likely to not have children than men executives are. The Asia-Pacific executive man is about six times as likely to be a working dad as an executive woman is to be a working mom.
Warren Farrell
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If we hold the married man accountable for finances gone legally awry, then the married woman should be held accountable for children who go awry.
Warren Farrell
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By starving our children of men, we have made them more vulnerable to the very abuse we are trying to prevent. – page 97.
Warren Farrell
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Teaching children to debate without teaching children to listen is divorce training.
Warren Farrell
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Our children are better served by speaking not of visitation versus custody, but of parent time.
Warren Farrell
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Visitation reflects the era of the absentee father; parent time influences the re-emergence of the involved father. Visitation reflects the destruction of the family; parent time influences the reconstruction of the family. Parent time influences an era that understands that as either parents loses, so lose the children.
Warren Farrell
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Women are socialized to take advantage of four informal options for emotional support: husbands; womenfriends; children; and parents. Men are socialized to take advantage of only one of these informal options: their wife or womanfriend.
Warren Farrell
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The more our children see men being paid to take responsibility for children, the more respectable it will be for men to do work compatible with their role as dads.
Warren Farrell
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Our love for children is so immediate in part because we feel their powerlessness immediately; conversely, part of the way we deny our love for men is by denying men's powerlessness. Too often we have confused love for men with respect for them, especially for their power to take care of us—-which is really just love for ourselves.
Warren Farrell
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The most unacknowledged spending expectation among women is the amount of time spent by single mothers caring for children, not only physically, but psychologically. It is my feeling that only a small percentage of a mother's time is normally compensated for by child support, given what a woman could make adding these hours to workforce hours… It is why women who have never been married and never had children earn so much more in the workplace than women who have had children.
Warren Farrell
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From a woman's perspective, sharing parent time feels like what a man might experience if his ex-wife came to his office and shared his career. He might claim the sharing is not in the best interests of the employer. But what he really would be caring about is the affront should his ex-wife do as good as he at his own job. While the fear is understandable, the difference is that his career is his, their children are theirs.
Warren Farrell
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Raising children was not designed for single parents. (Which is why divorce was such a taboo prior to birth control.)
Warren Farrell
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There are many ways in which a woman experiences a greater sense of powerlessness than her male counterpart: the fears of pregnancy, aging, rape, date rape, and being physically overpowered; less socialization to take a career that pays enough to support a husband and children[...] Fortunately, almost all industrialized nations have acknowledged these female experiences. Unfortunately, they have acknowledged only the female experience.
Warren Farrell
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Many women are discovering that the motherhood instinct implies a responsibility to be certain children have dads — everyday, not far away; and some are aware that economic independence requires not holding on to her child as if it were her job.
Warren Farrell
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Men for whom divorce means walking out of their children's lives except when they choose to see the children are the male equivalent of the adolescent feminists: men who want options without obligations. Morally, they have no right to walk out. A law that allows that is similarly immoral. Primary Parent laws are just such laws.
Warren Farrell
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When a man is forced into early retirement, he is often being 'given up for a younger man.' Being forced into early retirement can be to a man what being 'given up for a younger woman' is for a woman… Why do many men get more upset by retirement than women do from the empty nest —when their children leave home? When females retire from children, they can try a career; when a man retires from a career, his children are gone.
Warren Farrell
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If we penalize mothers for denial of visitation time we must also penalize fathers who don't show up for visitation time. The issue is not fathers' rights to visitation time, but both parents obligations to their children. The issue is how to make both parents real parents despite what parenting was never designed to deal with — divorce.
Warren Farrell
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Quote of the day
Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.
Dorothy L. Sayers
Warren Farrell
Creative Commons
Born:
June 26, 1943
(age 80)
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