Authors
Topics
Lists
Pictures
Resources
More about P. G. Wodehouse
P. G. Wodehouse Quotes
379 Sourced Quotes
Source
Report...
I started back to the house, and in the drive I met Jeeves. He was at the wheel of Stiffy's car. Beside him, looking like a Scotch elder rebuking sin, was the dog Bartholomew.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
I goggled. Her words did not appear to make sense. They seemed the mere aimless vapouring of an aunt who has been sitting out in the sun without a hat.
"You're pulling my leg."
"I am not pulling your leg. Nothing would induce me to touch your beastly leg."
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
She laughed - a solo effort. Nothing in the prevailing circumstances made me feel like turning it into a duet.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
"Oh, look," she said. She was a confirmed Oh-looker. I had noticed this at Cannes, where she had drawn my attention in this manner on various occasions to such diverse objects as a French actress, a Provençal filling station, the sunset over the Estorels, Michael Arlen, a man selling coloured spectacles, the deep velvet blue of the Mediterranean, and the late mayor of New York in a striped one-piece bathing suit.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
Besides, isn't there something in the book of rules about a man may not marry his cousin? Or am I thinking of grandmothers?
"My dear Tuppy, does one bandy a woman's name?"
"One does if one doesn't want one's ruddy head pulled off."
I saw that it was a special case.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
His aspect was that of one who has been looking for the leak in a gas pipe with a lighted candle.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
There was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. It resembled the movements of a fly that had fallen into an ink-pot, and subsequently taken a little brisk exercise on a sheet of foolscap by way of restoring the circulation.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
I attribute my whole success in life to a rigid observance of the fundamental rule — Never have yourself tattooed with any woman's name, not even her initials.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
Breakfast had been prepared by the kitchen maid, an indifferent performer who had used the scorched earth policy on the bacon again.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
When a girl uses six derogatory adjectives in her attempt to paint the portrait of the loved one, it means something. One may indicate a merely temporary tiff. Six is big stuff.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
"Jeeves," I said, and I am free to admit that in my emotion I bleated like a lamb drawing itself to the attention of the parent sheep, "what the dickens is all this?"
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
Nothing so surely introduces a sour note into a wedding ceremony as the abrupt disappearance of the groom in a cloud of dust.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
'Yes, sir,' said Jeeves in a low, cold voice, as if he had been bitten in the leg by a personal friend.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit." "Thank you, miss. I am glad to have given satisfaction.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
He was not a man who prattled readily, especially in a foreign tongue. He gave the impression that each word was excavated from his interior by some up-to-date process of mining.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
To say that his conscience was clear would be inaccurate, for he did not have a conscience, but he had what was much better, an alibi...
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
He had that self-reproachful feeling of having been remiss which comes to Generals who wake up one morning to discover that they have carelessly allowed themselves to be outflanked.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
Golf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors almost entirely to the fact that, never having played golf, they never knew that strange chastening humility which is engendered by a topped chip shot. If Cleopatra had been ousted in the first round of the Ladies' Singles, we should have heard a lot less of her proud imperiousness.
P. G. Wodehouse
Source
Report...
Whatever may be said in favour of the Victorians, it is pretty generally admitted that few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. Wodehouse
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
...
16
Quote of the day
Be a sinner and sin strongly, but more strongly have faith and rejoice in Christ.
Martin Luther
P. G. Wodehouse
Creative Commons
Born:
October 15, 1881
Died:
February 14, 1975
(aged 93)
Bio:
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse was an English author and one of the most widely read humorists of the 20th century.
Known for:
Right Ho, Jeeves (1934)
Leave It to Psmith (1923)
The Code of the Woosters (1938)
The Inimitable Jeeves (1923)
Blandings Castle and Elsewhere (1935)
Most used words:
man
life
aunt
jeeves
time
sir
sort
love
looked
girl
voice
golf
moment
feel
eye
P. G. Wodehouse on Wikipedia
P. G. Wodehouse works on Gutenberg Project
P. G. Wodehouse works on Wikisource
Suggest an edit or a new quote
P. G. Wodehouse Quotes
P. G. Wodehouse Short Quotes
Quotes about P. G. Wodehouse
English Author Quotes
Author Quotes
19th-century Author Quotes
Related People
Stephen Fry
English Activist
Evelyn Waugh
British Novelist
Cole Porter
American Songwriter
Featured Authors
Lists
Predictions that didn't happen
If it's on the Internet it must be true
Remarkable Last Words (or Near-Last Words)
Picture Quotes
Confucius
Philip James Bailey
Eleanor Roosevelt
Letitia Elizabeth Landon
Popular Topics
life
love
nature
time
god
power
human
mind
work
art
heart
thought
men
day
×
Lib Quotes