P. G. Wodehouse Quotes

379 Sourced Quotes

Prismatic is the only word for those frightful tweeds and, oddly enough, the spectacle of them had the effect of steadying my nerves. They gave me the feeling that nothing mattered.

P. G. Wodehouse
Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

P. G. Wodehouse
'You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.'
'No, sir.'
'One or the other. Not both.'
'Precisely, sir.'

P. G. Wodehouse
As plainly as if it had been the top line on the oculist's chart I could see what the future held for Bertram.

P. G. Wodehouse
We Woosters do not lightly forget. At least, we do - some things - appointments, and people's birthdays, and letters to post, and all that - but not an absolutely bally insult like the above.

P. G. Wodehouse
The light from the big window fell right on the picture. I took a good look at it. Then I shifted a bit nearer and took another look. Then I went back to where I had been at first, because it hadn't seemed quite so bad from there.

P. G. Wodehouse
No good can come of association with anything labelled Gwladys or Ysobel or Ethyl or Mabelle or Kathryn. But particularly Gwladys.

P. G. Wodehouse
I marmaladed a slice of toast with something of a flourish and I don't suppose I have ever come much closer to saying 'Tra la la' as I did the lathering for I was feeling in mid season form this morning.

P. G. Wodehouse
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

P. G. Wodehouse
He committed mayhem upon his person. He did everything to him that a man can do who is hampered with boxing gloves.

P. G. Wodehouse
'Oh, yes, he thinks a lot of you. I remember his very words. 'Mr Wooster, miss' he said 'is, perhaps, mentally somewhat negligible but he has a heart of gold'

P. G. Wodehouse
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.

P. G. Wodehouse
Aunt Agatha, who eats broken bottles and wears barbed wire next to the skin.

P. G. Wodehouse
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.

P. G. Wodehouse
'Suppose your Aunt Dahlia read in the paper one morning that you were going to be shot at sunrise.'
'I couldn't be, I'm never up so early.'

P. G. Wodehouse
We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.

P. G. Wodehouse
'I hate you, I hate you!' cried Madeline, a thing I didn't know anyone ever said except in the second act of a musical comedy.

P. G. Wodehouse
A man, to use an old-fashioned phrase, of some twenty-eight summers, he gave the impression at the moment of having experienced at least that number of very hard winters.

P. G. Wodehouse
He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers—the kind that have taken twelve correspondence lessons.

P. G. Wodehouse
As life goes on, don't you find that all you need is about two real friends, a regular supply of books, and a Peke?

P. G. Wodehouse