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Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.
Janet Evanovich
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Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.
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Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots." "Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.
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That's nice of you, but it's not necessary to loan me a car. I loan you cars all the time. And I almost always destroy them or lose them. I have terrible luck with cars. Working at Rangeman is a high-stress job, and you're one of our few sources of comic relief. I give you a car and my men start a pool on how long it will take you to trash it. You're a line item in my budget under entertainment.
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You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.
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On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.
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If I could just get Broom to cooperate, we could fly, Glo said. Then we wouldn't have to worry about traffic. Harry Potter didn't have to worry about traffic. You relize Harry Potter isn't real, right? Of course, but he could be. I mean, maybe not Harry Potter, but someone like him. Who's to say?
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You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter." Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
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Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula
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This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe." Ranger
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Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.
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I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.
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Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said. Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.
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I thought you wanted to date other women?" "I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached." "And I could date other men." Morelli was starting to look annoyed. "Have you been dating other men?" "Maybe." "As long as it isn't Ranger," Morelli said. "I don't think Ranger dates.
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Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.
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Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car has protective qualities" You mean like a guardian angel?" I mean, like, it has seatbelts
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Cupcake, you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you
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That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee. Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli." I wasn't talking about Morelli. I was talking about us." That too," I said. Ranger sliced a bagel and looked for the toaster. It's broken,"I told him. He truned the boiler on and slid the bagel into the oven. That's surprisingly domestic for a man of mystery," I said to him. He looked at me over the rim of his coffee mug. "I like things hot.
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THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.
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I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.
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I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate." Grandma Mazur
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I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.
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What are you doing back at the bakery? I asked [Diesel]. Did you know Wulf was here? No. I knew food was here.
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Is there anything else you need from me?" Ranger asked. "Not right now." "There will come a time," Ranger said. "Let me know when." And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.
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Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. I'm going to marry my snuggy wuggums, she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I'll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.
Janet Evanovich
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Quote of the day
Every hand and every hour should be devoted to rescue the world from its insanity of guilt, and to assuage the pangs of human hearts with balm and anodyne. To pity distress is but human; to relieve it is Godlike.
Horace Mann
Janet Evanovich
Creative Commons
Born:
April 22, 1943
(age 81)
Bio:
Janet Evanovich is an American writer.
Known for:
One for the Money (1994)
Tricky Twenty-Two (2015)
Takedown Twenty (2013)
Two for the Dough (1996)
Notorious Nineteen (2012)
Most used words:
ranger
morelli
lula
tank
looked
time
jersey
people
car
told
woman
grandma
kill
peanut
butter
Janet Evanovich on Wikipedia
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