Janet Evanovich Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

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Almost everybody I know has died, Grandma said. Bunch of wimps.

Janet Evanovich
You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.

Janet Evanovich
Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you.

Janet Evanovich
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Janet Evanovich
Cupcake, you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you

Janet Evanovich
Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.

Janet Evanovich
Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done.

Janet Evanovich
I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead.

Janet Evanovich
Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator." Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich
I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.

Janet Evanovich
Ranger plays by his own set of rules, and I don't have a complete copy.

Janet Evanovich
I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.

Janet Evanovich
Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.

Janet Evanovich
I'd hate to list our specialties. Wreck cars, eat doughnuts, create mayhem.

Janet Evanovich
I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward.

Janet Evanovich
I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want?

Janet Evanovich
No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.

Janet Evanovich
Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula

Janet Evanovich
I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.

Janet Evanovich
Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race.

Janet Evanovich
Calories don't count if they're connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

Janet Evanovich
My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.

Janet Evanovich
Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions?" -Ranger

Janet Evanovich
This isn't just a job. This is a service profession. We uphold the law, babe." Ranger

Janet Evanovich
Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. —Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich
I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.

Janet Evanovich
This is war,' I yelled through the door. Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.

Janet Evanovich
I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean

Janet Evanovich
I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?

Janet Evanovich
I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.

Janet Evanovich