Janet Evanovich Quotes

183 Sourced Quotes

Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room. No Joe. No Ranger. His eyes locked on Diesel. 'Not the psycho,' he said. Diesel blew out a sigh. My father turned to my mother. 'Get me the carving knife. Make sure it's sharp.

Janet Evanovich
Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable.

Janet Evanovich
And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case.

Janet Evanovich
I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.

Janet Evanovich
That's how you tell what a man's really made of. It's one thing for a man to be big and brave and kill a spider. Any man could do that. Trailin' after a woman when she's shopping for thongs and push-up bras is a whole other category of man. And then if you want to see how far you can go with it, you ask him to carry one of those little pink bags they give you.

Janet Evanovich
I wasn't a fabulous cook. I didn't have a boyfriend, much less a husband. And I wasn't a big financial success. I could live with all those failings as long as I knew that once in a while I looked really hot.

Janet Evanovich
Any intelligent woman would have made a dignified retreat, but this was New Jersey, where dignity always runs a poor second to the pleasure of getting in someone's face.

Janet Evanovich
I was waiting for my body receipt when Morelli walked in. He nodded to Ranger and grinned at me in my whiteness. I was at my desk, and Mickey told me I had to come out to take a look, Morelli said. It's floor, I told him. I can see that. If we add some milk and eggs, we can turn you into a cake.

Janet Evanovich
I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. —Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich
Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator." Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich
Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy.

Janet Evanovich
Gotta protect the little dudes. I tried an AK-47, but it wouldn't fit under my seat. I like the Uzi better, anyway. It looks better with the dress. The AK seems too casual to me

Janet Evanovich
Diesel is back," Ranger said. Yes. How did you know?" I woke up with a migraine this morning." Ranger said.

Janet Evanovich
-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Janet Evanovich
The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. "Fainted," I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. "Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock." "Well, the rock fainted.

Janet Evanovich
I don't have a lot of domestic instincts," Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down." I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file.

Janet Evanovich
Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said. Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.

Janet Evanovich
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Janet Evanovich
I wasn't sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.

Janet Evanovich
I'd hate to list our specialties. Wreck cars, eat doughnuts, create mayhem.

Janet Evanovich
I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionall mature.

Janet Evanovich
"I'm underrealized," Lula said. "I gotta lot of untapped potential. Yesterday my horoscope said I gotta expand my horizons." "You expand any more in that dress, and you'll get yourself arrested," Connie said.

Janet Evanovich
Lula: Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out?

Janet Evanovich
As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.

Janet Evanovich
It's the twenty-first century." I told Tank. "Women drive." "Only in my bed," Tank said. "Never in my car.

Janet Evanovich
If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger. "Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked.

Janet Evanovich
I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.

Janet Evanovich
Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.' There are some similarities.

Janet Evanovich
When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

Janet Evanovich
I've never been in this part of Trenton before. I don't feel comfortable driving around buildings that haven't got gang slogans sprayed on them. Look at this place. No boarded-up windows. No garbage in the gutter. No brothers selling goods on the street. Don't know how people can live like this.

Janet Evanovich