Janet Evanovich - Time Quotes

14 Sourced Quotes

View all Janet Evanovich Quotes
I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. "Thought you weren't into internal pollution," I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing. "Props," Ranger told me. "Didn't want to look out of place." I didn't want to burst his fantasy bubble, but the only time Ranger wouldn't look out of place would be standing in a lineup between Rambo and Batman.

Janet Evanovich
Shirley's gonna be pissed," Gazarra said. "She hates when I get shot." To my recollection, the only other time Gazarra was shot was when he was playing quick draw in the police station elevator and his gun accidentally discharged. The bullet ricocheted off the elevator wall and lodged in Gazarra's right buttock.

Janet Evanovich
I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.

Janet Evanovich
He's going to jail. He can't see. He can't hear. He can't take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other problems are small change. Next time around I'm coming back as a man. Priorities are clearly defined. Life is simple.

Janet Evanovich
How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.

Janet Evanovich
You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens," Grandma said.

Janet Evanovich
"Am I to assume you would rather not have us as clients?"
"Let me think about that for a nanosecond," Dickie said. "Yes! Last time you were in my office you tried to kill me." "That's an exaggeration. Maim you, yes. Kill you, probably not."

Janet Evanovich
Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.

Janet Evanovich
Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.

Janet Evanovich
Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.

Janet Evanovich
That's nice of you, but it's not necessary to loan me a car. I loan you cars all the time. And I almost always destroy them or lose them. I have terrible luck with cars. Working at Rangeman is a high-stress job, and you're one of our few sources of comic relief. I give you a car and my men start a pool on how long it will take you to trash it. You're a line item in my budget under entertainment.

Janet Evanovich
On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.

Janet Evanovich
Is there anything else you need from me?" Ranger asked. "Not right now." "There will come a time," Ranger said. "Let me know when." And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.

Janet Evanovich
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.

Janet Evanovich