Eoin Colfer Quotes

136 Sourced Quotes

We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.

Eoin Colfer
Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.

Eoin Colfer
Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Eoin Colfer
Red held me at arm's length, grinning. Welcome to the family, Half Moon, he said.

Eoin Colfer
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.

Eoin Colfer
Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.

Eoin Colfer
Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..."... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile?

Eoin Colfer
The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.

Eoin Colfer
And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.

Eoin Colfer
You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart. Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.

Eoin Colfer
People like me, LB, the truly great ones... we are always alone.

Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky... from the tip of this finger sprang a small blue spark that exploded like a tiny firework. I know magic can be stolen, said Artemis. Because I stole some myself.

Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Eoin Colfer
Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube?" "It's always cubes with you," noted Foaly, somewhat randomly. "What's wrong with a nice sphere?

Eoin Colfer
People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You're a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.

Eoin Colfer
You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.

Eoin Colfer
Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.

Eoin Colfer
Inside the mirrored elevator, Mulch used a telescopic pointer to push P for the penthouse. For the first few months he had jumped to reach the button, but that was undignified behavior for a millionaire. And besides, he was certain that Art could hear the thumping from the security desk.

Eoin Colfer
Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Eoin Colfer
Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.

Eoin Colfer
This is the only way. I will not allow humans or fairies to die when I might have prevented it. Butler would not give up. Listen to yourself. You sound like a... like a good guy! There's nothing in this for you.

Eoin Colfer
Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.

Eoin Colfer
I am unarmed. But Butler here, my...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?

Eoin Colfer
If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.

Eoin Colfer
Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly

Eoin Colfer