Eoin Colfer Quotes

136 Sourced Quotes

Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly

Eoin Colfer
Ma was using her for-company voice. Sweet on the outside but with an underlying death threat.

Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky... from the tip of this finger sprang a small blue spark that exploded like a tiny firework. I know magic can be stolen, said Artemis. Because I stole some myself.

Eoin Colfer
When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.

Eoin Colfer
In the Bernstein Manual there is a short chapter on undercover work. The first line says, in capital letters, AVOID UNDERCOVER WORK.

Eoin Colfer
Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?

Eoin Colfer
The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.

Eoin Colfer
We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.

Eoin Colfer
The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end.

Eoin Colfer
Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. I remember, she said aloud. You saved me. Artemis smiled back. It never happened, he said.

Eoin Colfer
Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder.

Eoin Colfer
Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.

Eoin Colfer
Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Eoin Colfer
I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

Eoin Colfer
Who can fathom the workings of the criminal mind? I said, trying to sound intelligent.
Well, you, I hope, said April. That is what I'm paying you for.

Eoin Colfer
I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Eoin Colfer
Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Eoin Colfer
She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl

Eoin Colfer
I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.

Eoin Colfer
Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes?

Eoin Colfer
Maybe I'll keep you. Abbot chuckled and prodded Artemis's back with his sword. It'd be nice to have a pet human around. I could teach you tricks. I have a trick for you, said Artemis, and he fired a single blast from the gun.

Eoin Colfer
When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?

Eoin Colfer
Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.

Eoin Colfer
Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.

Eoin Colfer
Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.

Eoin Colfer
And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.

Eoin Colfer
How did that go?' he asked. 'Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?' 'Fabulous,' said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. 'We're planning a June wedding.

Eoin Colfer
The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.

Eoin Colfer
Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.

Eoin Colfer
Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your way back. Then I can make a few pennies wth my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks for passersby." This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered jumping into the hole to get away.

Eoin Colfer