Eoin Colfer Quotes

136 Sourced Quotes

Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?

Eoin Colfer
When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.

Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky... from the tip of this finger sprang a small blue spark that exploded like a tiny firework. I know magic can be stolen, said Artemis. Because I stole some myself.

Eoin Colfer
Ma was using her for-company voice. Sweet on the outside but with an underlying death threat.

Eoin Colfer
Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly

Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Eoin Colfer
Listen to me, convict. I have not traveled all this way to listen to your war stories. So shut your trap before I shut it for you. Commander Julius Root

Eoin Colfer
Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Horse. Tasty" "Let's go," said Foaly nervously. "Let's go right now.

Eoin Colfer
People like me, LB, the truly great ones... we are always alone.

Eoin Colfer
There seemed an unwritten agreement that the Thunder God should be left in peace, which was probably due to the very clearly written message painted on a whitewashed wall in what looked like lumpy congealed blood, which read: Leave me in peace and I probably won't kill you. No promise, mind. Probably is absolutely the best I can do.

Eoin Colfer
So if you're not Artemis Fowl, then who are you?" The boy extended a dripping hand straight up. "My name is Orion. I am so pleased to meet you at last. I am, of course, your servant." Holly shook the proferred hand, thinking that manners were lovely, but she really needed someone cunning and ruthless right now, and this kid didn't appear to be very cunning.

Eoin Colfer
Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.

Eoin Colfer
Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.

Eoin Colfer
And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.

Eoin Colfer
Don't feel bad; I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.

Eoin Colfer
There is no such thing as a happy ending. Every culture has a maxim that makes this point, while nowhere in the Universe is there a single gravestone that reads 'He Loved Everything About His Life, Especially the Dying Bit at the End'.

Eoin Colfer
I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you, and proceed to the next command.

Eoin Colfer
I'm on my feet, pacing around the room, punching a fist into my palm, which I stop doing when I realise how drama queen it feels.

Eoin Colfer
Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..."... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile?

Eoin Colfer
Hey, if you can't remember, don't worry about it. I'm having a few memory problems myself in this place. Little things like how long I've been here, what my purpose in life is, which feet to put my shoes on. Stuff like that.

Eoin Colfer
Look at those two. Wasting time. You wouldn't catch me doing that.

Eoin Colfer
Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.

Eoin Colfer
If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter; he will pay you a decent wage. Will he make me bathe? No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash. Ah. One of those.

Eoin Colfer
A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.

Eoin Colfer
Of course. Opal is toying with our emotions for her own gratification. Nothing more. She wishes to place herself in a position of power, emotionally.

Eoin Colfer
Grab some caviar from the kitchen. You wouldn't believe the muck they feed us in Bartleby's for ten thousand a term.

Eoin Colfer
Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut." Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. "I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.

Eoin Colfer
This is the only way. I will not allow humans or fairies to die when I might have prevented it. Butler would not give up. Listen to yourself. You sound like a... like a good guy! There's nothing in this for you.

Eoin Colfer
In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter — they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.

Eoin Colfer
That's the last order I'll ever give you Captain. Don't you dare ignore it.

Eoin Colfer