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Test this out on yourself. Imagine that for a month you have neither had your garbage picked up nor an opportunity to read about new anthropological discoveries. Which would you pay more money to remedy? A society that functions effectively adjusts the pay until the supply matches the need. Failure to make these adjustments not only leaves streets filled with garbage, but also leaves unemployment lines filled with anthropologists.
Warren Farrell
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Perhaps the biggest appreciation adjustment we need is toward the millions of men and women we call stepparents. We have taken for granted especially the stepparents who are raising no children of their own, and receiving no income from a significant other, but who have nevertheless chosen to invest love, time and money in children.
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The Female Western is the battle between the good and evil methods of getting the men who perform best.
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ITEM: The Mike Tyson trial. The hotel in which the jury is sequestered goes ablaze. Two firefighters die saving its occupants. The trial of Mike Tyson made us increasingly aware of men-as-rapists. The firefighters' deaths did not make us increasingly aware of men-as-saviors. We were more aware of one man doing harm than of two men saving...
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Humans have spent (10k+) years learning to fight and debate with the other side, and almost no time learning to listen and empathize.
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We have restricted humans from giving 'free' food to bears and dolphins because we know that such feeding would make them dependent and lead to their extinction. But when it comes to our own species, we have difficulty seeing the connection between short-term kindness and long-term cruelty; we give women money to have more children, making them more dependent with each child and discouraging them from developing the tools to fend for themselves. The real discrimination against women, then, is 'free feeding'.
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If we both ignore the unique contribution of male-style parenting and jail a man who responsibly contributes it, fatherhood becomes another hazardous occupation. More precisely, it becomes the largest 100%-male hazardous occupation. And in the process, our children lose one of the greatest potential gifts of Stage II — genuine fatherhood. That's the bad news. The good news is that there are ways of creating a father and child reunion....
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We are at a unique moment in history — when a woman's body is affected, we say the choice is hers; but when a boy's body is affected, we say the choice is not his — the law requires our 18 year old sons to register for the draft, and therefore potential death-if-needed.
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Until recently, the question was 'Why can't a woman be more like a man?' It should have been changed to 'Why can't both sexes be more like the best parts of each other?' Instead, the pendulum swung to the 1960s feminist lapel button Adam Was a First Draft. True enough. So are we all.
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The 'enduring theme' [in fiction] of male competition and female competition for the hero/survivor has taken us from the fittest surviving to the brink of no one surviving. Sex roles have gone from functional to dysfunctional almost overnight. This is why the enduring theme must be questioned now.
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We often hear that mothers do the caring; fathers just do the playing. This is a false dichotomy — even a dangerous one — because fathers' particular style of play involves both a conscious focus on teaching and, as the research is now showing, is instructive to children even when it is not consciously designed to be so.
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Women's scars and rituals involved beauty (piercing ears and noses, binding feet, and wearing corsets); men's involved protecting women. In cultures in which physical strength is still the best way to protect women, as among the Dodos in Uganda, each time a man kills a man, he is awarded a ritual scar; the more scars, the more he is considered eligible.
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The more a man is trained to be a man, the more he is trained to protect women and children, not hurt women and children. He is trained to volunteer to die before even a stranger is hurt – especially a woman or child.
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When women entered the workplace, many men were mentors to them and, in turn, also learned to respect women's unique contributions (for example, their listening and facilitative skills). Now, as we give men responsibilities to care for children, women must be among the mentors, and we must also learn to respect men's unique contributions.
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If we want our children to have a balance between their abilities to earn money and show love, it will help if both their parents model that balance. – page 114.
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We often think that when a man insults another man by calling him a girl, the insult reflects a contempt for women. No. It reflects a contempt for any man who is unwilling to make himself strong enough to protect someone as precious as a woman.
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Minimizing the role of sexual attraction in rape denies our responsibility for reinforcing men's addiction to female sexual beauty and then depriving men of what we've helped addict them to.
Warren Farrell
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Survey 2001: Men who never married, never had a child, worked full time and were college educated earn only 85% of what women with the same criteria earn.
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The less our sons our trusted, the less women are able to really love them, and the more women feel entitled to use them as wallets.
Warren Farrell
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When our binoculars are focused on the dad as deadbeat, it often even leads us to missing concrete cues a dad gives to show his desire to be involved.
Warren Farrell
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Laws are made with such attention to protecting women that, if a man's constitutional rights conflict with a woman's protection, his rights disintegrate before her protection disintegrates.
Warren Farrell
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The emphasis of the men's group was on understanding, coping, changing the situation and then, if all else failed, getting out; the emphasis of battered women's groups is on getting out first, and second, locking up the problem (the man).
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When we suggest that men are at the top because men discriminate, we miss the point. Men are at the top of the work hierarchy because work has been primarily men's responsibility.
Warren Farrell
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People who get higher pay are more willing to relocate—especially to undesirable locations at the company's behest... A corporate secretary may change companies in the same town; a corporate executive is more likely to change towns with the same company. A talented corporate secretary sees an invitation to relocate as an invitation; a future corporate executive sees an invitation to relocate as an opportunity—and an obligation.
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Only when a woman shares male risks can she really begin to understand men.
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Quote of the day
Destiny is the invention of the cowardly, and the resigned.
Ignazio Silone
Warren Farrell
Creative Commons
Born:
June 26, 1943
(age 80)
Bio:
Warren Thomas Farrell is an American educator, activist and author of seven books on men's and women's issues.
Known for:
The Myth of Male Power (1993)
Why Men Are the Way They Are (1986)
Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (1998)
Most used words:
men
women
woman
children
male
love
power
money
child
work
time
pay
sexual
female
family
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