P. G. Wodehouse Quotes

379 Sourced Quotes

She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.

P. G. Wodehouse
I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all.

P. G. Wodehouse
She had hair the color of ripe wheat and eyes of cornflower blue. Add a tiptilted nose and a figure as full of curves as a scenic railway, and it will not strike you as strange that Stilton... should have stood gaping at her dumbly.

P. G. Wodehouse
Jeeves coughed one soft, low, gentle cough like a sheep with a blade of grass stuck in its throat.

P. G. Wodehouse
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.

P. G. Wodehouse
As is so often the case with butlers, there was a good deal of Beach. Julius Caesar, who liked to have men about him who were fat, would have taken to him at once. He was a man who had made two chins grow where only one had been before, and his waistcoat swelled like the sail of a racing yacht.

P. G. Wodehouse
Whatever may be said in favour of the Victorians, it is pretty generally admitted that few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

P. G. Wodehouse
Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons.

P. G. Wodehouse
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.

P. G. Wodehouse
I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.

P. G. Wodehouse
It seemed to me, thinking quick, that the only way of solving the am-parce [impasse] was to sacrifice Shorty. Like Russian peasants with their children, you know, when they are pursued by wolves and it becomes imperative to lighten the sledge.

P. G. Wodehouse
I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.

P. G. Wodehouse
A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.

P. G. Wodehouse
I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.

P. G. Wodehouse
I am strongly of the opinion that, after the age of twenty-one, a man ought not to be out of bed and awake at four in the morning. The hour breeds thought. At twenty-one, life being all future, it may be examined with impunity. But, at thirty, having become an uncomfortable mixture of future and past, it is a thing to be looked at only when the sun is high and the world full of warmth and optimism.

P. G. Wodehouse
Scarcely had I entered the sitting-room when I found... what appeared at first sight to be the Devil, A closer scrutiny informed me that it was Gussie Fink-Nottle, dressed as Mephistopheles.

P. G. Wodehouse
In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I've known him to do it' 'Do what?' 'Not strike lambs

P. G. Wodehouse
... I mean to say, when a girl, offered a good man's heart, laughs like a bursting paper bag and tells him not to be a silly ass, the good man is entitled, I think, to assume that the whole thing is off.

P. G. Wodehouse
Golf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors almost entirely to the fact that, never having played golf, they never knew that strange chastening humility which is engendered by a topped chip shot. If Cleopatra had been ousted in the first round of the Ladies' Singles, we should have heard a lot less of her proud imperiousness.

P. G. Wodehouse
I don't suppose she would recognize a deep, beautiful thought if you handed it to her on a skewer with tartare sauce.

P. G. Wodehouse
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

P. G. Wodehouse
It was a morning when all nature shouted Fore! The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip shots holed and brassies landing squarely on the meat. The fairway, as yet unscarred by the irons of a hundred dubs, smiled greenly up at the azure sky.

P. G. Wodehouse
What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

P. G. Wodehouse
My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows.

P. G. Wodehouse
I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.

P. G. Wodehouse