P. G. Wodehouse Quotes

379 Sourced Quotes

So always look for the silver lining And try to find the sunny side of life.

P. G. Wodehouse
The only way…of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

P. G. Wodehouse
Musical comedy is the Irish stew of drama. Anything may be put into it, with the certainty that it will improve the general effect.

P. G. Wodehouse
Dedication: To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time.

P. G. Wodehouse
"I don't want to seem always to be criticizing your methods of voice production, Jeeves," I said, "but I must inform you that that 'Well, sir' of yours is in many respects fully as unpleasant as your 'Indeed, sir?' Like the latter, it seems to be tinged with a definite scepticism. It suggests a lack of faith in my vision. The impression I retain after hearing you shoot it at me a couple of times is that you consider me to be talking through the back of my neck, and that only a feudal sense of what is fitting restrains you from substituting for it the words 'Says you!'"
"Oh? I didn't know that."
"There isn't much you do know."

P. G. Wodehouse
There was the man who seemed to be attempting to decieve his ball and lull it into a false sense of security by looking away from it and then making a lightning slash in the apparent hope of catching it off its guard.

P. G. Wodehouse
I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.

P. G. Wodehouse
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

P. G. Wodehouse
There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.

P. G. Wodehouse
'You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing.'
'No, sir.'
'One or the other. Not both.'
'Precisely, sir.'

P. G. Wodehouse
Scarcely had I entered the sitting-room when I found... what appeared at first sight to be the Devil, A closer scrutiny informed me that it was Gussie Fink-Nottle, dressed as Mephistopheles.

P. G. Wodehouse
I don't suppose she would recognize a deep, beautiful thought if you handed it to her on a skewer with tartare sauce.

P. G. Wodehouse
Back horses or go down to Throgmorton Street and try to take it away from the Rothschilds, and I will applaud you as a shrewd and cautious financier. But to bet at golf is pure gambling.

P. G. Wodehouse
... I mean to say, when a girl, offered a good man's heart, laughs like a bursting paper bag and tells him not to be a silly ass, the good man is entitled, I think, to assume that the whole thing is off.

P. G. Wodehouse
It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle.

P. G. Wodehouse
I agreed the situation was sticky. Indeed, offhand it was difficult to see how it could have been more glutinous.

P. G. Wodehouse
There is a good deal to be said about internment. It keeps you out of the saloons and gives you time to catch up with your reading. You also get a lot of sleep. The chief drawback is that it means your being away from home a good deal.

P. G. Wodehouse
The test of a great golfer is his ability to recover from a bad start.

P. G. Wodehouse
He had never acted in his life, and couldn't play the pin in Pinafore.

P. G. Wodehouse
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

P. G. Wodehouse
Oh, Bertie, if I ever called you a brainless poop who ought to be given a scholarship at some lunatic asylum, I take back the words.

P. G. Wodehouse
What with excellent browsing and sluicing and cheery conversation and what-not, the afternoon passed quite happily.

P. G. Wodehouse
'And shove him into a dungeon with dripping walls and see to it that he is well gnawed by rats.'

P. G. Wodehouse
Roderick Spode? Big chap with a small moustache and the sort of eye that can open an oyster at sixty paces?

P. G. Wodehouse
There are girls, few perhaps but to be found if one searches carefully, who when their advice is ignored and disaster ensues, do not say "I told you so". Mavis was not of their number.

P. G. Wodehouse
Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.

P. G. Wodehouse
To my daughter Leonora without whose never failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been completed in half the time.

P. G. Wodehouse
I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.

P. G. Wodehouse
I shuddered from stem to stern, as stout barks do when buffeted by the waves.

P. G. Wodehouse
No good can come of association with anything labelled Gwladys or Ysobel or Ethyl or Mabelle or Kathryn. But particularly Gwladys.

P. G. Wodehouse