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Dave Attell Quotes

35 Sourced Quotes

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If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! 'Cause everybody likes one of those things.

Dave Attell
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Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.

Dave Attell
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Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

Dave Attell
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The sun comes up and so does your dick. 'Cause at heart your dick's a farmer!

Dave Attell
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You gotta make your own fun (Audience member cheers). That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.

Dave Attell
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Quote of the day

I would sum up my fear about the future in one word: boring. And that's my one fear: that everything has happened; nothing exciting or new or interesting is ever going to happen again … the future is just going to be a vast, conforming suburb of the soul.
J. G. Ballard

Dave Attell

Dave Attell
Creative Commons

Born: January 18, 1965 (age 60)
Bio: Dave Attell is an American stand-up comedian, writer and actor, best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show with Dave Attell.
Known for:
  1. Trainwreck (2015)
  2. Dave Attell's Insomniac Tour (2006)
  3. Pootie Tang (2001)
  4. Scary Movie 4 (2006)
  5. Los Enchiladas! (1999)
Most used words:
  • man
  • fun
  • guy
  • call
  • drinking
  • sex
  • black
  • story
  • time
  • game
  • drunk
  • friend
  • night
  • magic
  • wake

WikipediaDave Attell on Wikipedia

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If you see what is right and fail to act on it, you lack courage.

Confucius

I have a heart with room for every joy.

Philip James Bailey

Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive.

Eleanor Roosevelt

A great change in life is like a cold bath in winter — we all hesitate at the first plunge.

Letitia Elizabeth Landon

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