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Chelsea Handler Quotes

34 Sourced Quotes

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Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This happens to be something that I have a real problem with: homeless people with pets who approach you for food when they have a perfectly delicious dog standing right there?

Chelsea Handler
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He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.

Chelsea Handler
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Men don't realize that if we're sleeping with them on the first date, we're probably not interested in seeing them again either.

Chelsea Handler
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Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.

Chelsea Handler
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Quote of the day

One of the first signs of the beginnings of understanding is the wish to die. This life appears unbearable, another unattainable. One is no longer ashamed of wanting to die; one asks to be moved from the old cell, which one hates, to a new one, which one will only in time come to hate.
Franz Kafka

Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler
Creative Commons

Born: February 25, 1975 (age 50)
Bio: Chelsea Joy Handler is an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, and producer.
Known for:
  1. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang (2010)
  2. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (2008)
  3. Uganda Be Kidding Me (2014)
  4. My Horizontal Life (2005)
  5. Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me (2011)
Most used words:
  • people
  • pain
  • time
  • fun
  • told
  • drink
  • dog
  • person
  • wanted
  • relationship
  • eight

WikipediaChelsea Handler on Wikipedia

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If you see what is right and fail to act on it, you lack courage.

Confucius

I have a heart with room for every joy.

Philip James Bailey

Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive.

Eleanor Roosevelt

A great change in life is like a cold bath in winter — we all hesitate at the first plunge.

Letitia Elizabeth Landon

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