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But the bottom line is that, as humans, we are by nature selfish creatures. The only way we care about anything, really, is by making it about us.
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And no relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater.
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There was something so heavy about the burden of history, of the past. I wasn't sure I had it in me to keep looking back.
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So what do you wear to dump somebody?" she asked me, twirling a lock of hair around one finger. "Black, for mourning? Or something cheerful and colorful, to distract them from their pain? Or maybe you wear some sort of camouflage, something that will help you disappear quickly in case they don't take it well.
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What," I said, "is that a crime here or something? Like only buying one thing at the Gas/Gro?
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All I'd wanted for so long was for someone to explain everything that had happened to me in this same way. To label it neatly on a page: this leads to this leads to this.
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All those clean, fresh starts had made me forget what it was like, until now, to be messy and honest and out of control. To be real.
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We didn't talk about our scars, the ones you could see and the ones you couldn't.
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I got back in my car, starting the engine, then drove off. It wasn't until I pulled onto the highway that it all really sunk it, how temporary our friendship had been. We'd been on our breaks, after all, but it wasn't our relationships that were on pause: it was us. Now we were both in motion again, moving ahead. So what if there were questions left unanswered. Life went on. We knew that better than anyone.
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D.C., Baltimore, Philadelphia, Austin... and you. I'll be there soon.
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Life is long. Just because you don't get your chance right when you want or expect it doesn't mean it won't come. Fate doesn't punch a time clock or consult a schedule.
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It was so weird, because usually I was totally nervous talking to guys. But Eli was different. He made me want to say more, not less. Which was maybe not a good thing.
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It was always late at night, when everything and everyone else was quiet, that those voices would rise like ghosts, soft and haunting, filling your mind until sleep finally came.
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I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be one of so many, to have not just parents and siblings but cousins and aunts and uncles, an entire tribe to claim as your own. Maybe you would feel lost in the crowd. Or sheltered by it. Whatever the case, one things was for sure: like it or not, you'd never be alone.
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You're not the kind of person who smiles for nothing, Colie. I have to earn every one.
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The way I see it," she continued, "is that some things are just meant to be the way they are.
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Now, see," Wes said, nodding at my plate, "this is going to blow your mind." I looked at him. "It's a waffle, not the second coming.
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She stroked my hair and told me I was beautiful, but I was old enough by then to know not to believe it anymore.
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Music is a total constant. That's why we have such a strong visceral connection to it, you know? Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in your or the world, that one song says the same, just like that moment.
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I'd chosen instead to just change my route, go miles out of the way, as if avoiding it would make it go away once and for all.
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If he'd been any other boy, and this was any other world, I would have kissed him. Nothing could have stopped me.
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I had to wonder whether it was possible that this wasn't already decided for me, and if maybe, just maybe, this was my one last chance to try and prove it. There was no way to know. There never is. But I reached out and took it anyway.
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There's a kind of radar that you get, after years of being talked about and made fun of by other people. You can almost smell it when it's about to happen, can recognize instantly the sound of a hushed voice, lowered just enough to make whatever is said okay. I had only been in Colby for a few weeks. But I had not forgotten.
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I realized how truly hard it was, really, to see someone you love change right before your eyes. Not only is it scary, it throws your balance off as well.
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Very quietly, I heard a voice in my ear.It said, in a weird, cheesy, right-out-of-one-of-my-mother's-novels way, Ah. Wemeet again. I turned my head, just slightly, and right there, practically on top of me, was theguy from the car dealership. He was wearing a red Mountain Fresh Detergent T-shirt—not just fresh: mountain fresh!—it proclaimed, and was smiling at me. Oh, God, I said. No, it's Dexter,
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I waited. Because with Eli, he was never trying to get you to finish for him. He always knew where he was going, even if it took a little while to get there.
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I was bored. Sad. Lonely. It was only a matter of time before I cracked.
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The kind who live for music and are constantly seeking it out, anywhere they can. Who can't imagine a life without it. They're enlightened.
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Nothing happens for ages, and then all the changes come at once.
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Something had changed in me, even if I didn't know what it was just yet. All I could think was that I felt alive for the first time.
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Quote of the day
It is better to meet danger than to wait for it. He that is on a lee shore, and foresees a hurricane, stands out to sea and encounters a storm to avoid a shipwreck.
Charles Caleb Colton
Sarah Dessen
Born:
June 6, 1970
(age 54)
Bio:
Sarah Dessen is an American writer who lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
Known for:
Just Listen (2006)
The Truth About Forever (2004)
This Lullaby (2002)
Along for the Ride (2009)
Saint Anything (2015)
Most used words:
time
thought
people
love
life
moment
felt
person
hard
easy
wanted
finally
looked
alone
bad
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