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Sure, there was no guarantee any of these things would actually happen as he envisioned. But maybe that wasn‟t the point.It was the planning that counted, whether it ever came to fruition or not.
Sarah Dessen
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But that was the problem with having the answers. It was only after you gave them that you realized they sometimes weren't what people wanted to hear.
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Talk was cheap and useless. Action was what mattered. And me, I was moving. Now, again, always.
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There were so many levels to the unknown, from safe to dangerous to outright nebulous, scariest of all.
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The girl in the tight black dress was passing by us now, eyeing Wes and walking entirely too slowly. "Hi," she said, and he nodded at her but didn't reply. Knew it, I thought. Honestly," I said. What?" Come on. You have to admit, it's sort of ridiculous." What is?" Now that I had to define it, I found myself struggling for the right words. "You know," I said, then figured Kristy had really summed it up best. "The sa-woon." The what?
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Never would forever, with all its meanings, be so clear and distinct as in the true, guaranteed end of the world.
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In a way, I was almost happy to see her. The worst part of me, out in the flesh. Blinking back at me in the dim light, daring me to call her a name other than my own.
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And while it is hard enough to take away something that makes a person happy it's even more difficult when it seems like it's the only thing.
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It wasn't about being happy or unhappy. I just didn't want to be me anymore.
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You just looked..." she said, searching for the word, "taken, you know? Plus you hardly reacted to Wes. I mean, you did alittle, but nothing like most girls. It was a little swoon. Not a sa-woon, you know?" I said, "Sa-woon? Oh, come on," she said shaking her head. "Even a blind girl could tell he is amazing.
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You can't just turn your heart off like a faucet; you have to go to the source and dry it out, drop by drop.
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What were you two talking about?" she whispered as Wes pulls the door shut. Nothing," I said. "Running." You should have seen your face," she said, her breath hot in my ear. "Sa-woooon.
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I'd known enough people for every minute of the day, and yet still didn't have anyone as my two a.m.
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I spent a lot of time looking at that picture. Wondering what I'd think of that girl, if I was someone else, seeing how easily she sits in her boyfriend's lap, laughing, with his arms around her. I would have thought her life was perfect, the way I once thought Cass's was. It was too easy, I was learning, to just assume things.
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You just walk over there and into the office and say, 'Hey, be my prom date,'" he said. "It's that simple.
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All I'd ever wanted was to forget. but even when I thought I had, pieces had kept emerging, like bits of wood floating up to the surface that only hint at the shipwreck below.
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You can't unlearn something, even if you want to. You know what you know.
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The truth was, I wasn't sure. But I wanted to keep believing people could change, and it was certainly easier to do so when you were in the midst of it.
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Because it is so hard, in any life, to believe in what you can't fully understand.
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People don't change. If anything, you get more set in your ways as you get older, not less
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I'd been convinced I was on the outside, but really, I'd always been within arm's reach. All I had to do was ask, and I, too, would be easily brought back, surrounded and immersed, finding myself safe, somewhere in between.
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Oh darling, don't be bitter. It's the first instinct of the weak.
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It didn't make you noble to step away from something that wasn't working, even if you thought you were the reason for the malfunction. Especially then. It just made you a quitter. Because if you were the problem, chances were you could also be the solution. The only way to find out was to take another shot.
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Like a blinking cursor on an empty page, it was just the first thing. The beginning of the beginning. But at least it was done.
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See for me, it's immediate. Silence is so freaking loud.' This seemed either deep or deeply oxymoronic. I wasn't sure which.
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It's always very pure, that last moment before an ugly, unsettling truth hits someone. The most stark of before-and-afters.
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As I rolled over, stretching out, my only thought was to go back to the dream I'd been having, which I couldn't remember, other than that it had been good, in that distant, hopeful way unreal things can be.
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Change is inevitable, though," he replied. "As is disappointment. Best to get used to it now.
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I've always known who I am. I might not work perfectly, or be like them, but that's okay. I know I work in my own way.
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So finally, I decided that the best response — the safest — was none at all.
Sarah Dessen
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Quote of the day
The most painful moral struggles are not those between good and evil, but between the good and the lesser good.
Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Sarah Dessen
Born:
June 6, 1970
(age 54)
Bio:
Sarah Dessen is an American writer who lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
Known for:
Just Listen (2006)
The Truth About Forever (2004)
This Lullaby (2002)
Along for the Ride (2009)
Saint Anything (2015)
Most used words:
time
thought
people
love
life
moment
felt
person
hard
easy
wanted
finally
looked
alone
bad
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