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Whatever helps you sleep is my opinion on the subject, and that's what I like about the western world's most popular religion, it has helped put so many people to sleep, although most of them permanently and without their approval.
Roseanne Barr
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If we were to see one flying woman, we would
instantly
know how to rise and join her —
for she could speak to us in our own tongue
with the magic instructions...
Roseanne Barr
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He'd never laugh at my jokes.... I was a woman, meaning my relationship with humor should have been as an object, not a perpetrator.
Roseanne Barr
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Roseanne Barr
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The one who cares the most wins.... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over.... I cared the most.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm on the mirror diet. You eat all your food in front of a mirror in the nude. It works pretty good, though some of the fancier restaurants don't go for it.
Roseanne Barr
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They say lesbians hate men. How can they? They don't have to fuck them.
Roseanne Barr
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I hate being called a housewife. I prefer being called a domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr
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Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
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I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear.
Roseanne Barr
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I used to think I was an interesting person, but I must tell you how sobering a thought it is to realize your life's story fills about thirty-five pages and you have, actually, not much to say.
Roseanne Barr
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You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there.
Roseanne Barr
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I figure when my husband comes home at night, if those kids are still alive, hey, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
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My parents... had decided early on that all of the problems in my family had somehow to do with me. All roads led to Roseyville, a messy, chaotic town where, as parents, they were required to visit, but could never get out of quick enough or find a decent parking place.
Roseanne Barr
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Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays.
Roseanne Barr
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The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
Roseanne Barr
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Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.
Roseanne Barr
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You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but 14 years later you're married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm a heterosexual. I don't know why I'm like this. I was just born this way.
Roseanne Barr
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Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error..
Roseanne Barr
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I used to think that communing with nature was a healing, positive thing. Now, I think I'd like to commune with other things — like room service and temperature control.
Roseanne Barr
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I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate evening with my husband, I was swept away by the passion (so dormant inside myself) of a long and tortured existence. The physical cravings I had tried so hard to deny, finally and ultimately sated... But enough about the pork.
Roseanne Barr
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Blogging what I believe has always been a dangerous act to some people. I'm writing what I think, and I think others should do the same.
Roseanne Barr
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Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones.
Roseanne Barr
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Being a mom is rewarding. You've got all these little people and you could really mess up their heads forever. Only moms can say stuff like, 'Don't talk with your mouth full. Answer me!'
Roseanne Barr
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Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
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Without democracy in our homes, we will never have it in the world.
Roseanne Barr
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Quote of the day
Good authors, too, who once knew better words Now only use four-letter words Writing prose — Anything goes.
Cole Porter
Roseanne Barr
Creative Commons
Born:
November 3, 1952
(age 72)
Bio:
Roseanne Cherrie Barr is an American actress, comedian, writer, television producer, director, she was also the 2012 presidential nominee of the California-based Peace and Freedom Party.
Known for:
Roseanne (1988 – 1997)
She-Devil (1989)
Roseanne's Nuts (2011)
Home on the Range (2004)
Look Who's Talking (1989)
Most used words:
husband
people
woman
control
mother
hate
women
men
kids
jewish
life
place
opinion
space
day
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