Roseanne Barr Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

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My husband said he needed more space, so I locked him outside.

Roseanne Barr
My family really stuck out in Utah: We had only the one mother!

Roseanne Barr
Two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.

Roseanne Barr
Without democracy in our homes, we will never have it in the world.

Roseanne Barr
My husband asked me to be more aggressive in bed, so I shouted, 'NO!'

Roseanne Barr
They say lesbians hate men. How can they? They don't have to fuck them.

Roseanne Barr
When it came to chit-chat, he made Silas Marner look like Arsenio Hall.

Roseanne Barr
Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones.

Roseanne Barr
I hate being called a housewife. I prefer being called a domestic goddess.

Roseanne Barr
I'm a heterosexual. I don't know why I'm like this. I was just born this way.

Roseanne Barr
I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.

Roseanne Barr
My husband and I didn't sign a prenuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

Roseanne Barr
I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.

Roseanne Barr
Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.

Roseanne Barr
The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

Roseanne Barr
I figure when my husband comes home at night, if those kids are still alive, hey, I've done my job.

Roseanne Barr
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but 14 years later you're married to a couch that burps.

Roseanne Barr
Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error..

Roseanne Barr
Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it.

Roseanne Barr
I hate the word housewife; I don't like the word homemaker either. I want to be called – domestic goddess.

Roseanne Barr
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

Roseanne Barr
If I were Her what would really piss me off the worst is that they cannot even get My gender right for Christsakes.

Roseanne Barr
You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there.

Roseanne Barr
Politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.

Roseanne Barr
I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear.

Roseanne Barr
My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.

Roseanne Barr
Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays.

Roseanne Barr
Men do some things better, like reading maps, because only the male mind can conceive of one inch equalling one hundred miles.

Roseanne Barr
You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.

Roseanne Barr
He'd never laugh at my jokes.... I was a woman, meaning my relationship with humor should have been as an object, not a perpetrator.

Roseanne Barr