Robin Williams Quotes

68 Sourced Quotes

You appreciate little things, like walks on the beach with a defibrillator.
After a surgery to replace a valve in his heart

Robin Williams
We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!

Robin Williams
I would like to do Shakespeare's only unknown piece, That's the Way I Lick It... It's a bleak night my Lord. Look! The moon like a testicle hangs low in the sky. This bodes not well.... Anon, post-haste, let's get a larger crowd in here. Free Cocaine! There's no luck. Does anyone have drugs to ease my pain? My Kingdom for a Quaalude! … It is the end! I must go, for I cannot come here, and yet, it has been brief, 'tis over, and the lights do turn bright. I'm melting! Help me! Help me!

Robin Williams
They made porn movies, of my movies! Good Will Humping? It's okay... Wet Dreams May Cum? All right... Snatch Adams? That was scary. A clown with a strap-on. Popeye... I would watch that. "Ag-gag-gag-ga, I creamed me spinach!"

Robin Williams
Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."

Robin Williams
In the midst of all this, there was Bernie Madoff. An embezzler named "made off." Hmm. Was the name not a clue? Did he have to be with the accounting firm of Dewey, Fuckyou, and Howe?

Robin Williams
My favorite athletes of any Olympics are always the African distance runners. You never have to drug test an African distance runner.

Robin Williams
As a Shakespearean narrator:
Mind not my words — Let the play be the thing. I'll get back forth and touch myself anon.

Robin Williams