Robin Williams Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

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Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready."

Robin Williams
Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.

Robin Williams
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Robin Williams
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Robin Williams
Dubya doesn't speak while Cheney's drinking water. Check that shit out.

Robin Williams
You appreciate little things, like walks on the beach with a defibrillator.
After a surgery to replace a valve in his heart

Robin Williams
I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open.

Robin Williams
Baby caca is like Kryptonite to a father. Even the dog says, You don't rub his face in it.

Robin Williams
Thank you. How-DY! Whoops, wrong opera house. How do you like the play, Mr. Lincoln? Duck!

Robin Williams
There were a lot of doctors in rehab. It's rather like being in a fat farm with nutritionists.

Robin Williams
What's my credibility? Why are they looking to me for advice? Isn't there someone more qualified?

Robin Williams
I would like to do for you now, a Japanese science fiction movie: "Attack of the Killer Vibrators."

Robin Williams
One of the fundamental things is in a jihad. That sounds like a country western term like, "Jiii-had!"

Robin Williams
I'd like to start the show by showing you something I'm very proud of. You'll have to step back, though.

Robin Williams
You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Robin Williams
And that's when you realize that God gave you a penis and a brain and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Robin Williams
The sound crapped out for a bit, that's why I'm using SupposiSound! No one wants their tapes back, I wonder why.

Robin Williams
Imitating Pavarotti. "It is amazing I know it is huge. BEHOLD IT. IT IS GROWING. ALL OF MY PHALLUS IS A SHOWING!"

Robin Williams
We were talking briefly about cocaine... yeah. Anything that makes you paranoid and impotent, give me more of that!

Robin Williams
And if you want a linguistic adventure, go drinking with a Scotsman. 'Cause you can't fuckin' understand them before!

Robin Williams
The professor was on acid, and sometimes he'd shout, "I'm Lincoln!" And then, there'd be a kid in the back, "I'm Booth!"

Robin Williams
Before I go on, I want to ask if there are any Hell's Angels here tonight? [no response] … Those pussy-whipped faggots!

Robin Williams
Welcome to Washington, D. C., where the buck stops here! Way to go. And then it's handed out to AIG and many other people.

Robin Williams
As a Shakespearean narrator:
Mind not my words — Let the play be the thing. I'll get back forth and touch myself anon.

Robin Williams
The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!

Robin Williams