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P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The day was warm and clear. Kids were playing soccer in the parking lots and women were sunning their babies and having their tea all over the lawns. The scene was entirely too cheery for journalism.
P. J. O'Rourke
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A politician who commends himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to do good with other peoples' money.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs.
P. J. O'Rourke
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A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes out on your rug, and leave at eight to go somewhere more interesting for dinner without inviting you.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Taxi drivers all over the world, by the way, are under Newspaper Guild contract to give easy quotes to foreign correspondents.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Generally it's not a good idea to wear Banana Republic - type khaki journalist clothes in a war zone. You might look too much like something that's supposed to be shot, such as a journalist.
P. J. O'Rourke
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A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug - never wraps herself so that the world can't tell.
P. J. O'Rourke
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At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance, they invented algebra. And this is why we have to go to war with Saddam Hussein this minute and bomb the shish kebab out of him before he invents trig and chemistry and the whole of America flunks high school.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle.
P. J. O'Rourke
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This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.
P. J. O'Rourke
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People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable.
P. J. O'Rourke
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We are a nation that worships speed and power. And for good reason. Without power we would still be part of England and everybody would be out of work... Bicycles are too slow and impuissant for a nation like ours. They belong in Czechoslovakia.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer to walk around in than it is now, and better lit.
P. J. O'Rourke
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There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.
P. J. O'Rourke
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One of these suburbs is actually named Stalingrad, which goes to show that the French have learned nothing about politics since they guillotined all the smart people in 1793.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.
P. J. O'Rourke
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If we do our deficit spending on weapons, at least we get weapons. Then if we need weapons, we have them. If we don't need them, no harm is done.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have held the summit at Atlantic City and let them lose all their missiles playing Keno.
P. J. O'Rourke
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France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.
P. J. O'Rourke
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African famine is not a visitation of fate. It is largely man-made, and the men who made it are largely Africans.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The Republican convention, an event with the intellectual content of a Guns'n'Roses lyric attended by every ofay insurance brokerin America who owns a pair of white shoes.
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Quote of the day
True, the initial ideas are in general those of an individual, but the establishment of the reality and truth is in general the work of more than one person.
Willard Libby
P. J. O'Rourke
Creative Commons
Born:
November 14, 1947
Died:
February 15, 2022
(aged 74)
Bio:
Patrick Jake "P. J." O'Rourke was an American political satirist and journalist.
Known for:
Parliament of Whores (1991)
Give war a chance (1992)
Holidays in Hell (1988)
Eat the Rich (1998)
Don't Vote: It Just Encourages the Bastards (2010)
Most used words:
people
government
money
politics
bad
kind
life
children
car
human
years
power
time
free
war
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