Marshall Rosenberg Quotes

79 Sourced Quotes

NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.

Marshall Rosenberg
I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.

Marshall Rosenberg
Most of us grew up speaking a language that encourages us to label, compare, demand, and pronounce judgments rather than to be aware of what we are feeling and needing.

Marshall Rosenberg
Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.

Marshall Rosenberg
The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.

Marshall Rosenberg
People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

Marshall Rosenberg
By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.

Marshall Rosenberg
We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.

Marshall Rosenberg
The intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury, never to punish or to cause individuals to suffer, repent or change.

Marshall Rosenberg
What I want in my life is compassion
a flow between myself and others
based on mutual giving from the heart.

Marshall Rosenberg
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.

Marshall Rosenberg
Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.

Marshall Rosenberg
Fear of corporal punishment obscures children's awareness of the compassion underlying the parent's demands.

Marshall Rosenberg
At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

Marshall Rosenberg
Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.

Marshall Rosenberg
We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction.

Marshall Rosenberg
As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

Marshall Rosenberg
Power-Over leads to punishment and violence. Power-With leads to compassion and understanding, and to learning motivated by reverence for life rather than fear, guilt, shame, or anger.

Marshall Rosenberg
Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.

Marshall Rosenberg
When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values.

Marshall Rosenberg
Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect.

Marshall Rosenberg
Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.

Marshall Rosenberg
The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear my needs and feelings, I first need to empathize.

Marshall Rosenberg
Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.

Marshall Rosenberg
We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.

Marshall Rosenberg
We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

Marshall Rosenberg
Before we tackle the gangs and the basic story, we have to make sure that we have liberated ourselves from how we have been educated and make sure we are coming from a spirituality of our own choosing.

Marshall Rosenberg
Life-Enriching Education: an education that prepares children to learn throughout their lives, relate well to others, and themselves, be creative, flexible, and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all of humankind.

Marshall Rosenberg
The kind of spirituality I value is one in which you get great joy out of contributing to life, not just sitting and meditating, although meditation is certainly valuable. But from meditation, from the resulting consciousness, I would like to see people in action creating the world they want to live in.

Marshall Rosenberg
When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.

Marshall Rosenberg