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Girls are impossible to satisfy." "Not every girl." Not me. I'd be happy if he'd just like me a little.
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The only thing about myself I know for sure is that I don't know anything.
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Red and raw like my brain, unable to shut down, thoughts crashing like electrons orbiting a nucleus of deuling emotions.
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I nod, because I do understand. I'm just not sure how to go about divorcing myself from the evil I've already accepted.
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Or might the soul clone itself, create a perfect imitation of something yet to be defined? In this way, can a reflection be altered?
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So you want to know all about me. Who I am. What chance meeting of brush and canvas painted the face you see? What made me despise the girl in the mirror enough to transform her, turn her to into a stranger, only not. So you want to hear the whole story. Why I swerved off the high road, hard left to nowhere, recklessly indifferent to those coughing my dust, picked up speed no limits, no top end, just a high velocity rush to madness.
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Smile. Nod. Say something witty before he finds out what an incredible geek you are.
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Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling. Sometimes it's hard to turn it back on again.
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I mean, if you're gonna purposely lose your mind, you want to get it back some day. Don't you? Okay, maybe not.
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You were a summer gift, one I'll always treasure. You were a dream I never wanted to wake up from. You opened my eyes to things I'll never really see. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me.
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Falling in love with someone is the surest highway to hurt that I know. When the door to love opens, the window to control closes.
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TRIAD: Three separate highways intersect at a place no reasonable person would ever want to go. Three lives that would have been cut short, if not for hasty interventions by loved ones. Or Fate. Three people, with nothing at all in common except age, proximity, and a wish to die. Three tapestries, tattered at the edges and come unwoven to reveal a single mutual thread.
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I was about six years old, still Daddy's little girl, even though Daddy couldn't care less about me. How could I expect any man every would?
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In my limited realm of experience, beginnings led to endings.
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And almost instantly, Daddy made everything seem just fine. Even when it wasn't.
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If I come back to you now, can we be what we were before life's uncertain rhythms tore us so far apart? If I return today, will your arms gather me in, or will I be wrenched away, snatched by riptide I have no power to resist? If I find my way to you, one man standing in a crowd, will I even know who you are?
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The stars shine as they always do. Same stars. Same sky. Only I am different.
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What good would it do to shutter your windows, never dream of rainbows or find hope in promises? Why choose to walk away rather than hold your ground and fight for love?
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But then, my entire life is bullshit. The best things in it have vanished, ghosts. Ghosts I'll admit I created.
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Funny thing about the monster. The worse he treats you, the more you love him.
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I can't change what has happened in the past, Kaeleigh. I can only promise to make the future better.
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God i've missed you. I can't wait to give you your present. He kisses me hotter this time, and beneath me, through his denim and mine. I can feel the promise of his Christmas gift soon to come.
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This time when we kiss, I feel it in the pit of my stomach, I feel it in my heart. And I realize love isn't about sex. It's about connection.
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Living means taking chances. Risks. Playing safe all the time is being dead inside, even if you happen to still be breathing.
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In control. Out of control. Sometimes they're the same thing. The trick is knowing that, realizing it's okay to feel out of control once in a while, as long as you're sure you can regain the upper hand when you absolutely need to.
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Some people never find the right kind of love. You know, the kind that steals your breath away, like diving into snowmelt. The kind that jolts your heart, sets it beating apace, an anxious hiccuping of hummingbird wings
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Eventually, it becomes a matter of scale. When the good outweighs the bad, you stay. When the bad is the only thing you notice anymore, you think about your future, or what's left of it, consider options.
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Some secrets can't be kept too long. No matter how hard you try to hide them, sooner or later they scurry out from your cupboards, cockroaches on the run.
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What's the point of being a hero when everyone thinks you're a villain?
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Only by confronting your demons can you ever hope to conquer them.
Ellen Hopkins
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Quote of the day
Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run. The daily work—that goes on, it adds up.
Barbara Kingsolver
Ellen Hopkins
Creative Commons
Born:
March 26, 1955
(age 69)
Bio:
Ellen Louise Hopkins is a novelist who has published several New York Times bestselling novels that are popular among the teenage and young adult audience.
Known for:
Crank (2004)
Impulse (2007)
Burned (2006)
Fallout (2014)
Tricks (2009)
Most used words:
love
time
life
feel
heart
hurt
find
place
wonder
beautiful
control
people
afraid
forever
hard
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