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Afraid to Die Loveless Because I think if you die without knowing love in this life, that's how you'll spend eternity. Alone. Frozen.
Ellen Hopkins
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Even good girls have secrets, ones even their best friends must guess.
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The universe is a big place. If I was lost up there, how would you ever find me
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Something stirred beneath my skin, some being inside I'd only suspected existed, demon or angel, I couldn't say.
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Her smile is like summer moonlight-beautiful and magical, with a fire that could melt the night.
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Even without them touching me, I feel dirty about what I do. Alex does even filthier things but says it all washes off with soap. I don't believe that. I think it all leaves stains. Indelible stains.
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As the old saying goes, "sometimes loving someone means letting them go.
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Can't promise I'll stay. That would be lying. And I'm so, so tired of lies.
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Have you ever had so much to say that your mouth closed up tight struggling to harness the nuclear force coalescing within your words? Have you ever had so many thoughts churning inside you that you didn't dare let them escape in case they blew you wide open? Have you ever been so angry that you couldn't look in the mirror for fear of finding the face of evil glaring back at you?
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Commitment means losing yourself to gain something temporary. Nothing lasts. Not looks. Not love.
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Can a dream be wrong? Aren't dreams God's way of telling you things?
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Everyone's afraid of everybody else...maybe because we're all afraid of ourselves.
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He sucked the nectar from her heart like a famished butterfly.
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I need to capture my sprite with trembling hands. Except I could crush her. Wonder how many small things of beauty - flowers, seashells, dragonflies - have met such a demise. Wonder how much fragile love has collapsed beneath the weight of confession.
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In fact, since the accident, Mom doesn't love anyone. She is marble. Beautiful. Frigid. Easily stained by her family. What's left of us anyway. We are corpses. At first, we sought rebirth. But resurrection devoid of her love has made us zombies. We get up every morning, skip breakfast, hurry off to work or school. For in those other places, we are more at home. And sometimes we stagger beneath the weight of grief, the immensity of aloneness.
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Communication Was never big in my house. We sat together over dinner, but the only sound you'd hear was crunching and chewing and the little ones asking for more, please. We lived, all boxed up in invisible containers. We hardly knew the people we called sister or father. Jackie and I were the exceptions to that rule.
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The not-so-bookish librarian was half angel, half she-devil, so sayeth the rumor mill.
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Cleansed, chlorinated to the point of chemical peel, sore muscles relieved, I felt almost human again. Tiptoe to my room, up a darkened hall, past closed doors, I wondered if I'd ever feel completely human again.
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Heart Breaking, I think that if Dad, staring down the sight of a 10mm, would only tell me he loves me, I could easily change my mind......but he won't.
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When I was little, my friends would gush over wedding gowns and honeymoons. But I saw too many people flush decades together down the toilet over money or kids or meaningless flings. My own parents chose to stay married, which I think is rather funny, since they show about as much affection for each other as pit bulls in a ring. Tying the knot means slipping a noose around love and choking it to death.
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Losing It Some days I think I'm losing my mind. What seems so clear most of the time becomes a big question mark. Am I really the way I percieve myself, or is the person others see the truth of me? I wait for answers, but inside I know I have to go out and find them. And answers like knowledge, are not always where we first look for them.
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How can I explain purposely setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? Was the fun in the fall?
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Sometimes you're traveling a highway, the only road you've ever known and wham! A semi comes from nowhere and rolls right over you. Sometimes you dont wake up. But if you happen to you know things will never be the same. Sometimes that's not so bad. Sometimes lives instersect, no rhyme, no reason, except, perhaps, for a passing semi.
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I'm in love. And I like how that feels. And I hate how that feels. Because love is an invention of fiction writers.
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When did creating a flawless facade become a more vital goal than learning to love the person who lives inside your skin?
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Quote of the day
Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.
William James
Ellen Hopkins
Creative Commons
Born:
March 26, 1955
(age 69)
Bio:
Ellen Louise Hopkins is a novelist who has published several New York Times bestselling novels that are popular among the teenage and young adult audience.
Known for:
Crank (2004)
Impulse (2007)
Burned (2006)
Fallout (2014)
Tricks (2009)
Most used words:
love
time
life
feel
heart
hurt
find
place
wonder
beautiful
control
people
afraid
forever
hard
Ellen Hopkins on Wikipedia
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