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Can a dream be wrong? Aren't dreams God's way of telling you things?
Ellen Hopkins
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Everyone's afraid of everybody else...maybe because we're all afraid of ourselves.
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He sucked the nectar from her heart like a famished butterfly.
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I need to capture my sprite with trembling hands. Except I could crush her. Wonder how many small things of beauty - flowers, seashells, dragonflies - have met such a demise. Wonder how much fragile love has collapsed beneath the weight of confession.
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In fact, since the accident, Mom doesn't love anyone. She is marble. Beautiful. Frigid. Easily stained by her family. What's left of us anyway. We are corpses. At first, we sought rebirth. But resurrection devoid of her love has made us zombies. We get up every morning, skip breakfast, hurry off to work or school. For in those other places, we are more at home. And sometimes we stagger beneath the weight of grief, the immensity of aloneness.
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Communication Was never big in my house. We sat together over dinner, but the only sound you'd hear was crunching and chewing and the little ones asking for more, please. We lived, all boxed up in invisible containers. We hardly knew the people we called sister or father. Jackie and I were the exceptions to that rule.
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The not-so-bookish librarian was half angel, half she-devil, so sayeth the rumor mill.
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Cleansed, chlorinated to the point of chemical peel, sore muscles relieved, I felt almost human again. Tiptoe to my room, up a darkened hall, past closed doors, I wondered if I'd ever feel completely human again.
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Heart Breaking, I think that if Dad, staring down the sight of a 10mm, would only tell me he loves me, I could easily change my mind......but he won't.
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When I was little, my friends would gush over wedding gowns and honeymoons. But I saw too many people flush decades together down the toilet over money or kids or meaningless flings. My own parents chose to stay married, which I think is rather funny, since they show about as much affection for each other as pit bulls in a ring. Tying the knot means slipping a noose around love and choking it to death.
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Losing It Some days I think I'm losing my mind. What seems so clear most of the time becomes a big question mark. Am I really the way I percieve myself, or is the person others see the truth of me? I wait for answers, but inside I know I have to go out and find them. And answers like knowledge, are not always where we first look for them.
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How can I explain purposely setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? Was the fun in the fall?
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Sometimes you're traveling a highway, the only road you've ever known and wham! A semi comes from nowhere and rolls right over you. Sometimes you don't wake up. But if you happen to you know things will never be the same. Sometimes that's not so bad. Sometimes lives intersect, no rhyme, no reason, except, perhaps, for a passing semi.
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I'm in love. And I like how that feels. And I hate how that feels. Because love is an invention of fiction writers.
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When did creating a flawless facade become a more vital goal than learning to love the person who lives inside your skin?
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But Hey, Guess What Crazy means I'm not liable for my actions. So screw it, I'll go home, propped up on Prozac against distractions
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Memory is a tenuous thing, like a rainbow's end or a camera with a failing lens.
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I wonder how long it would take him to realize I'm right as sin - it's the rest of the world that's wrong. I'm not even sure how I qualify for admission to Aspen Springs. Does wanting to die equal losing your mind?
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Too much to take in, too much to purge. Why must every memory, once sweet, dead end in such ugliness?
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Anger is a valid emotion. It's only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don't want to do.
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Grandma once told me it's easy to overthink love, to dissect it and question it until it is no more.
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Forgiveness isn't my best thing. Easier staying pissed. But I'm tired of being pissed all the time. Tired of feeling hurt by stuff that can never be fixed because it is an indelible part of the past.
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The problem with resolutions is they're only as solid as the person making them.
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Except when it comes to Mom. She is, and always has been, the driving force in this family. And sometimes that means driving us head-on, no possible change of course, into a wall.
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If all you can promise me is today, I'll take it and hope for tomorrow.
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Perfection I've lived with the pretense of perfection for seventeen years. Give my room a cursory inspection, you'd think I have OCD. But it's only habit and not obsession that keeps it all orderly. Of course, I don't want to give the impression that it's all up to me.
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Do you know how beautiful you are?' I shook my head 'I'm not. But you make me fell like I am.' I wanted to be beautiful. To him. For him. I didn't care how anybody else saw me. Only Ethan.
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Easier, sometimes, to gulp down giant spoonfuls of uncertainty than it is to swallow throat-clogging capsules of what really is.
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The problem with being grounded is it gives you a whole lot of unavoidable time to think. NOt even pulling weeds can take away your ability to plot all the varied and wonderful things you might do to get even, or at least to make up, just get a smidgen for time lost to TV and yard work and house cleaning.
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Sorry. But I don't need some money-grubbing preacher defining my relationship with God.
Ellen Hopkins
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Quote of the day
Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run. The daily work—that goes on, it adds up.
Barbara Kingsolver
Ellen Hopkins
Creative Commons
Born:
March 26, 1955
(age 69)
Bio:
Ellen Louise Hopkins is a novelist who has published several New York Times bestselling novels that are popular among the teenage and young adult audience.
Known for:
Crank (2004)
Impulse (2007)
Burned (2006)
Fallout (2014)
Tricks (2009)
Most used words:
love
time
life
feel
heart
hurt
find
place
wonder
beautiful
control
people
afraid
forever
hard
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