Ellen Hopkins - Crank (2004)

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Alone everything changes. Some might call it distorted reality but it's exactly the place I need to be.

Ellen Hopkins
Do you ever dangle your toes over the precipice, dare the cliff to crumble, defy the frozen deity to suffer the sun, thaw feather and bone, take wing to fly you home?

Ellen Hopkins
As I thought about that, I had to wonder: What will we know better about tomorrow? Who cares? Hindsight is useless.

Ellen Hopkins
Clear. Cold. Empty. Like how I feel right now. Love is strange. One minute you're jungle fever. The next you're Artic winter.

Ellen Hopkins
Six months since we met up again we are inseparable, an intricate weave. No longer do I believe this is a temporary fling. More like total commitment. More like I have walked down the aisle, holding hands with the monster.

Ellen Hopkins
I never went to Albuquerque expecting to find love. I thought it had found me there, followed me home. I never came home expecting to lose love in the space of one brief telephone call. Is it always so short-lived?

Ellen Hopkins
Then I said it. He said it too. I love you. And everything that went before meant nothing.

Ellen Hopkins
I still care for you, you know.. That phrase again. Everyone cares for me. They just don't know how to love me.

Ellen Hopkins
So when he asked about getting high, I didn't think, I agreed. We smoked some good California green. Took three tries to put me in the place he said I should be.

Ellen Hopkins
It was body rush After body rush, intensity building. Touch me there.

Ellen Hopkins
The problem with being grounded is it gives you a whole lot of unavoidable time to think. NOt even pulling weeds can take away your ability to plot all the varied and wonderful things you might do to get even, or at least to make up, just get a smidgen for time lost to TV and yard work and house cleaning.

Ellen Hopkins
How could I share the way my heart was breaking when my confessor didn't believe

Ellen Hopkins
I feel like a goddess, jailed in her Olympus. Little wonder how the gods toyed with humans. Toyed with women, to watch them squirm, pollinate the seeds of despair; toyed with men, to satiate their Seven Deadly Sins.

Ellen Hopkins
Red and raw like my brain, unable to shut down, thoughts crashing like electrons orbiting a nucleus of deuling emotions.

Ellen Hopkins
So you want to know all about me. Who I am. What chance meeting of brush and canvas painted the face you see? What made me despise the girl in the mirror enough to transform her, turn her to into a stranger, only not. So you want to hear the whole story. Why I swerved off the high road, hard left to nowhere, recklessly indifferent to those coughing my dust, picked up speed no limits, no top end, just a high velocity rush to madness.

Ellen Hopkins
Smile. Nod. Say something witty before he finds out what an incredible geek you are.

Ellen Hopkins
You were a summer gift, one I'll always treasure. You were a dream I never wanted to wake up from. You opened my eyes to things I'll never really see. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me.

Ellen Hopkins
Falling in love with someone is the surest highway to hurt that I know. When the door to love opens, the window to control closes.

Ellen Hopkins
Funny thing about the monster. The worse he treats you, the more you love him.

Ellen Hopkins
God i've missed you. I can't wait to give you your present. He kisses me hotter this time, and beneath me, through his denim and mine. I can feel the promise of his Christmas gift soon to come.

Ellen Hopkins
Life is full of choices. We don't always make good ones. It seems to Kristina you gotta be crazy to open your windows, invite the demons in. Bree throws rocks at the feeble glass, laughs

Ellen Hopkins
I mean, who wants to trudge through life, doing everything just right? Taking no chances means wasting your dreams.

Ellen Hopkins
Empty and closed, hovering in some frozen netherworld neither sun nor rain could thaw.

Ellen Hopkins
Before you, I believed love was making love. Waiting only makes me love you more.

Ellen Hopkins
You come home, and everyone talks at once and everyone asks questions, but no one waits for the answers.Instead they talk about themselves, what they've been up to, what they're going to do next, as if you're a photo on the wall.And then they talk to one another, forgetting you've jsut flown in, forgetting you're in the backseat, forgetting they've already said it all.

Ellen Hopkins
Funny thing, your brain, how it always functions on one level or another. How, even stuck in some sort of subconcious limbo, it works your lungs, your muscle twitches, your heart, in fact, in symphony with your heart, allowing it to feel love. Pain. Jealousy. Guilt. I wonder if it's the same for people, lost in comas. Is there really such a thing

Ellen Hopkins
We kissed for about the thousandth time, No promises, no demands, Just solid rebuilding of shattered trust.

Ellen Hopkins
He did seem like a nice boy. Seeming and being are two different things.

Ellen Hopkins
Always before, I just said no, left it solidly there. I waver now. I want to share everything with him. Want to know what he knows, feel what he feels, share the same space he's in.

Ellen Hopkins
Alone, there is only the person inside. I've grown to like her better than the stuck-up husk of me. Alone, there is no perfect daughter, no gifted high school junior, no Kristina Georgia Snow. There is only Bree." (Ellen Hopkins)

Ellen Hopkins