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Clear. Cold. Empty. Like how I feel right now. Love is strange. One minute you're jungle fever. The next you're Artic winter.
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Eyes Tell Stories But do they know how to craft fiction? Do they know how to spin lies? His eyes swear forever, flatter with vows of only me. But are they empty promises? I stare into his eyes, as into a crystal ball, but I cannot find forever, only movies of yesterday, a sketchbook of today, dreams of a shared tomorrow. His eyes whisper secrets. But are they truths or fairy tales? I wonder if even he knows.
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How could I share the way my heart was breaking when my confessor didn't believe
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Alone everything changes. Some might call it distorted reality but it's exactly the place I need to be.
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Defiance rose up like vomit. I swung back and yelled, "Don't ever do that again!
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The problem with falling in love is falling back out of it again, usually because you've fallen in love with a lie. That happens as often as not.
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It was body rush After body rush, intensity building. Touch me there.
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Sad, that lives can be shattered, into so many pieces that they can never be put back together, the the relentless force of love. Irreparable.
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So when he asked about getting high, I didn't think, I agreed. We smoked some good California green. Took three tries to put me in the place he said I should be.
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I still care for you, you know.. That phrase again. Everyone cares for me. They just don't know how to love me.
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Then I said it. He said it too. I love you. And everything that went before meant nothing.
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I never went to Albuquerque expecting to find love. I thought it had found me there, followed me home. I never came home expecting to lose love in the space of one brief telephone call. Is it always so short-lived?
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When all choice is taken from you, life becomes a game of survival.
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I hide hurt behind a fake smile. I wear it all the time. Everyone says how I always look so cheerful. Shows what they know I guess.
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Innocence eroded into nightmare. All because of very bad touch. Love, corrupted.
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Don't you know? We're connected by an invisible chain. It's very long, very light. But also very strong. It can't rust. Can't break. And the only thing that can sever it is if you ever stop loving me.
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When you've only got one little shimmer of sunshine, you capture it best you can.
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Face red, but brave in spite of it, Ethan offered an even smaller box. My hands shook as i opened it. Set in a gold promise ring, three small diamonds glittered. One for you, one for me, one for us, he said sweetly. I love you.
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Six months since we met up again we are inseparable, an intricate weave. No longer do I believe this is a temporary fling. More like total commitment. More like I have walked down the aisle, holding hands with the monster.
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Perfection I've lived with the pretense of perfection for seventeen years. Give my room a cursory inspection, you'd think I have OCD. But it's only habit and not obsession that keeps it all orderly. Of course, I don't want to give the impression that it's all up to me.
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Memory is a tenuous thing, like a rainbow's end or a camera with a failing lens.
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I wonder how long it would take him to realize I'm right as sin - it's the rest of the world that's wrong. I'm not even sure how I qualify for admission to Aspen Springs. Does wanting to die equal losing your mind?
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Too much to take in, too much to purge. Why must every memory, once sweet, dead end in such ugliness?
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Anger is a valid emotion. It's only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don't want to do.
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Grandma once told me it's easy to overthink love, to dissect it and question it until it is no more.
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Forgiveness isn't my best thing. Easier staying pissed. But I'm tired of being pissed all the time. Tired of feeling hurt by stuff that can never be fixed because it is an indelible part of the past.
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The problem with resolutions is they're only as solid as the person making them.
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Except when it comes to Mom. She is, and always has been, the driving force in this family. And sometimes that means driving us head-on, no possible change of course, into a wall.
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If all you can promise me is today, I'll take it and hope for tomorrow.
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As I thought about that, I had to wonder: What will we know better about tomorrow? Who cares? Hindsight is useless.
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Quote of the day
Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run. The daily work—that goes on, it adds up.
Barbara Kingsolver
Ellen Hopkins
Creative Commons
Born:
March 26, 1955
(age 69)
Bio:
Ellen Louise Hopkins is a novelist who has published several New York Times bestselling novels that are popular among the teenage and young adult audience.
Known for:
Crank (2004)
Impulse (2007)
Burned (2006)
Fallout (2014)
Tricks (2009)
Most used words:
love
time
life
feel
heart
hurt
find
place
wonder
beautiful
control
people
afraid
forever
hard
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