Ellen Hopkins - Tricks (2009)

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I told her about the man, not my daddy, she said, He was only making you into a real girl. I didn't understand. But I made myself believe her. I was a real girl now. But what was I before?

Ellen Hopkins
Being In Love Means hard questions. Will I? Won't I? Should I? Could I? Yes? No? You? Me? There is no me without you. Is there a you without me? And if were truly one. how will I breathe when circomstance pries us apart? You are my oxygen. my substance, the blood inside my veins. When we touch, you are my skin. hold all my joy inside of you. When you go, I wither.

Ellen Hopkins
I whisper and you close your eyes. I speak and you turn away. If I scream, will you finally hear me beg you to hold me close to you, promise you'll never let go?

Ellen Hopkins
I haven't cried since Mom died. I mean, after something like that, what's left to cry about, right? But I let myself cry now. Loss is loss. Doesn't take death to create it.

Ellen Hopkins
You can't walk away from someone you love, leave them drowning in your desertion. If love has no more meaning than that, you can keep it. I don't want it now or ever again. Don't want to hear the word or wear its scars.

Ellen Hopkins
The universe is a big place. If I was lost up there, how would you ever find me

Ellen Hopkins
Even without them touching me, I feel dirty about what I do. Alex does even filthier things but says it all washes off with soap. I don't believe that. I think it all leaves stains. Indelible stains.

Ellen Hopkins
Can't promise I'll stay. That would be lying. And I'm so, so tired of lies.

Ellen Hopkins
Losing It Some days I think I'm losing my mind. What seems so clear most of the time becomes a big question mark. Am I really the way I percieve myself, or is the person others see the truth of me? I wait for answers, but inside I know I have to go out and find them. And answers like knowledge, are not always where we first look for them.

Ellen Hopkins
Perfection I've lived with the pretense of perfection for seventeen years. Give my room a cursory inspection, you'd think I have OCD. But it's only habit and not obsession that keeps it all orderly. Of course, I don't want to give the impression that it's all up to me.

Ellen Hopkins
Sorry. But I don't need some money-grubbing preacher defining my relationship with God.

Ellen Hopkins
Don't you know? We're connected by an invisible chain. It's very long, very light. But also very strong. It can't rust. Can't break. And the only thing that can sever it is if you ever stop loving me.

Ellen Hopkins
When all choice is taken from you, life becomes a game of survival.

Ellen Hopkins
Eyes Tell Stories But do they know how to craft fiction? Do they know how to spin lies? His eyes swear forever, flatter with vows of only me. But are they empty promises? I stare into his eyes, as into a crystal ball, but I cannot find forever, only movies of yesterday, a sketchbook of today, dreams of a shared tomorrow. His eyes whisper secrets. But are they truths or fairy tales? I wonder if even he knows.

Ellen Hopkins
If I come back to you now, can we be what we were before life's uncertain rhythms tore us so far apart? If I return today, will your arms gather me in, or will I be wrenched away, snatched by riptide I have no power to resist? If I find my way to you, one man standing in a crowd, will I even know who you are?

Ellen Hopkins
Some people never find the right kind of love. You know, the kind that steals your breath away, like diving into snowmelt. The kind that jolts your heart, sets it beating apace, an anxious hiccuping of hummingbird wings

Ellen Hopkins