Authors
Topics
Lists
Pictures
Resources
More about Daniel Handler
Daniel Handler Quotes
153 Sourced Quotes
Source
Report...
Lemony Snicket: (narrating) Reading poetry, even if you are only reading to find a secret message within its words, can often give one a feeling of power, the way you can feel powerful if you are the only one who brought an umbrella on a rainy day, or the only one who knows how to untie knots when you're taken hostage.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up. Like a tie at a tag sale, some perfect thing in a crate of nothing, you were just there, uninvited, and now suddenly the party was over and you were all I wanted. I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
I'm not - the terrific guy you keep telling me about. I'm not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of rats and snails and puppy-dogs tails. I lie sometimes. I have broken people's hearts. I'm looking for love, I'll admit that, but now that it's here in abundance, I'm afraid of commitment and I want you, please, to leave me.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
As the hook-handed man circled the brig, it was as if the Baudelaires were picking through a chef's salad consisting mostly of dreadful- and perhaps even poisonous- ingredients, trying desperately to find the one noble crouton that might save their sister....
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
To tell you the truth, I sometimes find it a bit tiresome, Fiona said....
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
Keith has one of those all terrain things that will come in so handy when the world ends and we need a nine-thousand -cylinder engine to drive over those hordes of blood-thirsty mutants crawling all over the video-game landscape.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
Dear Joe The letter said The windows rattle without you, you bastard. The trees are the cause, rattling in the wind, you jerk, the wild scraping those leaves and twigs against my window. They'll keep on doing this, you terrible husband, and slowly wear away our entire apartment.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
My stepfather said that the amount of treachery in this world is enormous, and that the best we could do was one small noble thing.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
With the Baudelaire orphans, it was as if their grief were a very heavy object that they each took turns carrying so that they would not all be crying at once, but sometimes the object was too heavy for one of them to move without weeping, so Violet and Sunny stood next to Klaus, reminding him that this was something they could all carry together until at last they found a safe place to lay it down.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
Because of the information discussed on page nine, experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor's whereabouts are unknown.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
I'm frightened by your behaviour. I woke up this morning and you said good morning and i said good morning, what do you feel like doing today, and you said well i sort of have to do this thing, and i said what thing and you said go to the reading of my father's will, and I said what are you talking about and then you told me that your dad had died. THIS MORNING.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
Richard Wright, an American novelist of the realist school, asks a famous unfathomable question in his best-known novel, Native Son. Who knows when some slight shock, he asks, disturbing the delicate balance between social order and thirsty aspiration, shall send the skyscrapers in our cities toppling?
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
The world 'bubble' is in the dictionary, as is the word 'peacock,' the word 'vacation,' and the words 'the,' 'author's,' 'execution,' 'has,' 'been,' 'cancelled,' which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear. So, if you were to read the dictionary, rather than this book, you could skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' and read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night, weeping and tearing your hair out. But this book is not a dictionary, and if you were to skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' you would be skipping the most pleasant parts of the entire story. Nowhere in this book will you find the words 'bubble,' 'peacock,' 'vacation,' or, unfortunately for me, anything about an execution being cancelled.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
Allison squinted at the strange, catastrophic sky, and took another step, another step, another step, because in the future - she could see it - this would not be happening.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemetery?
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
People aren't either wicked or noble, the hook-handed man said. They're like chef's salad, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
They could not love anymore, they thought, just drink and pour coffee and track people down in the rain. They were living frigidly, as if in a cone of frost.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log.
Daniel Handler
Source
Report...
If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.
Daniel Handler
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Quote of the day
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Ogden Nash
Daniel Handler
Creative Commons
Born:
February 28, 1970
(age 54)
Bio:
Daniel Handler is an American writer and journalist. He is best known for his work under the pen name Lemony Snicket, having published children's series A Series of Unfortunate Events and All the Wrong Questions under this pseudonym.
Known for:
The Bad Beginning (1999)
The Wide Window (2000)
The Miserable Mill (2000)
The Penultimate Peril (2005)
Most used words:
love
people
snicket
lemony
find
money
story
course
place
night
book
life
olaf
school
time
Daniel Handler on Wikipedia
Daniel Handler on Twitter
Suggest an edit or a new quote
Daniel Handler Quotes
Daniel Handler Short Quotes
American Novelist Quotes
Novelist Quotes
20th-century Novelist Quotes
Related People
Patrick Warburton
American Actor
Featured Authors
Lists
Predictions that didn't happen
If it's on the Internet it must be true
Remarkable Last Words (or Near-Last Words)
Picture Quotes
Confucius
Philip James Bailey
Eleanor Roosevelt
Letitia Elizabeth Landon
Popular Topics
life
love
nature
time
god
power
human
mind
work
art
heart
thought
men
day
×
Lib Quotes