Daniel Handler - Olaf Quotes

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Never mind what you were doing, Olaf said. You're fired!
You can't fire me! Esme growled. I quit!
Well, you can leave by mutual agreement, Olaf grumbled and then with another succinct Ha! he lifted the harpoon gun and pointed it at Dewey Denouement.

Daniel Handler

Olaf: I'm a genius! I've solved all of our problems! Look!
Violet: Renaming the boat doesn't solve any of our problems.

Daniel Handler

Olaf: Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else. Ishmael outwitted me, and put me in this cage. But I know how to outwit him and all his islander friends. If you let me out, I can be king of Olaf-Land, and you three can be my new henchfolk.
Klaus: We don't want to be your henchfolk, we just want to be safe. Olaf: Nowhere in the world is safe.

Daniel Handler

I'm happier than a pig eating bacon!" Count Olaf cried. "I'm tickled pinker than a sun-burned Caucasian! I'm in higher spirits than a brand-new graveyard! I'm so happy-go-lucky that lucky and happy people are going to beat me with sticks out of pure, unbridled jealousy!

Daniel Handler

Friday: Baudelaires, please come with me.
Olaf: What about me?
Friday: Go away.

Daniel Handler