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Daniel Handler Quotes
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The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights.
Daniel Handler
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Why, you're all grown up! The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!
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The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab.
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In this large and fierce world of ours, there are many, many unpleasant places to be. You can be in a river swarming with angry electric eels, or in a supermarket filled with vicious long-distance runners. You can be in a hotel that has no room service, or you can be lost in a forest that is slowly filling up with water. You can be in a hornet's nest or in an abandoned airport or the office of a pediatric surgeon, but one of the most unpleasant things that can happen is to find yourself in a quandary. - Lemony Snicket
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"Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you." She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life.
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Wherever it's good, whatever strange, faraway land, let's go there, let's stay in that place alone.
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"Oh my god!" Hillary is standing in the doorway of the bathroom of the bathroom which on one had is surprising but there's the other hand, too.
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You'd think that sweet would be a land far, far away from irritating, but as it turns out they're right next door, and always having border disputes.
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I opened my mouth and kissed you then, the first time all night, attacked you and surrendered completely, and let's get out of here. I'm ready, I'm finished, let's not break up, no, no. Take me home, my boyfriend, my love.
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There is evil out there you cannot even imagine. -Captain Widdershins
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This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys.
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He's been misled and he's been afraid. He's been hit in the head and left for dead. He's been abused and he's been accused and he's been refused a piece of bread. On and on he goes down this road getting pushed around and lost and around and given until sundown to get out of town, and yet this is basically a love song. He's had the shit kicked out of him, and guess what? It's love.
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Miracles are like meatballs because nobody knows what they are made of, where they came from or how often they should appear.
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There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. -Lemony Snicket
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Standing ten feet away from Lila was sort of kickass with her nails drumming on the box with the slot in, where we put everything that we rip in half, and with her blue-eyed beauty and with the gum she was chewing and how lovely she was, in that way that makes you want to find something else lovely just so you can give it to her and see how really kickass it is to have to lovely things next to each other.
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That's not why we broke up. I love it, I miss it, I hate to give it back to you, this complicated thing, it's why we stayed together
Daniel Handler
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For Beatrice—When we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended
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Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.
Daniel Handler
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This is love, moving to where the money is, and all the while a volcano or an ex-girlfriend might blow the whole thing to hell, as the Americans say. As everybody says.
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How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like getting kissed makes you kissable, like feeling warm makes you coffee, like liking movies makes you a director. How utterly incorrect to think it any other way, a box of crap is treasures, a boy smiling means it, a gentle moment is a life improved.
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Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.
Daniel Handler
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Adam hates Tomas and tried to get Eddie to join him in hate. It hasn't worked, although Eddie will admit certain shortcomings, and the two men have not met until now, in the forest, when Adam has decided that Tomas in Eddie's stories and the Tomas in this story are the same man.
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She said, "We're detectives" in the tone of voice that someone might say, "Making you happy isn't making me happy"
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God, or somebody, what is it with terrible things? If you made this world why not a better one?
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As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
Daniel Handler
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Quote of the day
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Ogden Nash
Daniel Handler
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Born:
February 28, 1970
(age 54)
Bio:
Daniel Handler is an American writer and journalist. He is best known for his work under the pen name Lemony Snicket, having published children's series A Series of Unfortunate Events and All the Wrong Questions under this pseudonym.
Known for:
The Bad Beginning (1999)
The Wide Window (2000)
The Miserable Mill (2000)
The Penultimate Peril (2005)
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