Daniel Handler Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

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Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats

Daniel Handler
All four of them have completely abandoned one another.

Daniel Handler
Put your hair up, Min. The secret ingredient is not your hair.

Daniel Handler
As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Daniel Handler
There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. -Lemony Snicket

Daniel Handler
A girl meets a boy, Ed, and everything changes, or so she says.

Daniel Handler
For Beatrice—I would much prefer it if you were alive and well.

Daniel Handler
That's always where the love goes, with somebody else away from me.

Daniel Handler
What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that.

Daniel Handler
"When I was crazy." the radio explained, "I thought you were great."

Daniel Handler
Take back the smile and the night, take it all back, I wish I could.

Daniel Handler
There is evil out there you cannot even imagine. -Captain Widdershins

Daniel Handler
For Beatrice—When we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended

Daniel Handler
To tell you the truth, I sometimes find it a bit tiresome, Fiona said....

Daniel Handler
Carmelita Spats, who oughtta be told "Gorgeous" does not start with an M.

Daniel Handler
I'd ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.

Daniel Handler
This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

Daniel Handler
We are a nation of children letting horrible things happen, and flunking Calc.

Daniel Handler
Love was in the air so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.

Daniel Handler
Friday: Baudelaires, please come with me.
Olaf: What about me?
Friday: Go away.

Daniel Handler
I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. — Waiter at The Anxious Clown Restaurant

Daniel Handler
For Beatrice—When we were together I felt breathless. Now, you are.-Lemony Snicket

Daniel Handler
Stop saying no offense, I said, when you say offensive things. It's not a free pass.

Daniel Handler
The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights.

Daniel Handler
"Help me," Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away.

Daniel Handler
-Most people would say that she's beautiful. -That's because she's been with most people.

Daniel Handler
But just suddenly I really, really needed to see you again right that minute, that night.

Daniel Handler
Who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn't know how things played out.

Daniel Handler
For Beatrice—You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave. -Lemony Snicket

Daniel Handler
This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys.

Daniel Handler