Chuck Klosterman Quotes

82 Sourced Quotes

Whenever I can't sleep, I like to lie in the darkness and pretend I've been assassinated. I've found this is the best way to get comfortable. I imagine I'm in the coffin at my funeral, and people from my past are walking by my corpse and making comments about my demise.

Chuck Klosterman
We're all tourists, sort of. Life is tourism, sort of. As far as I'm concerned, the dinosaurs still hold the lease on this godforsaken rock.

Chuck Klosterman
I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you plan the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow.

Chuck Klosterman
The message of "The Winner Takes It All" is straightforward: It argues that the concept of relationships ending on mutual terms is an emotional fallacy. One person is inevitably okay and the other is inevitably devastated.

Chuck Klosterman
Somewhere, at some point, somehow, somebody decided that death equals credibility.

Chuck Klosterman
Art and love are the same thing: It's the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.

Chuck Klosterman
It feels so exhausting to be so bad at something I loved so much.

Chuck Klosterman
Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.

Chuck Klosterman
We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for no reason whatsoever, beyond the fact that it was the most overtly irresponsible way for any two people to live.

Chuck Klosterman
This is what being alive feels like, you know? The place doesn't matter. You just live.

Chuck Klosterman
If you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word coincidence exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists.

Chuck Klosterman
Every one of Joel's important songs—including the happy ones—are ultimately about loneliness. And it's not 'clever lonely' (like Morrissey) or 'interesting lonely' (like Radiohead); it's 'lonely lonely,' like the way it feels when you're being hugged by someone and it somehow makes you sadder.

Chuck Klosterman
And I spilled gravy on my Carolina sweater, because I am alive,

Chuck Klosterman
Important things are inevitably cliche, but nobody wants to admit that.

Chuck Klosterman
I've spent the last fifteen years of my life railing against the game of soccer, an exercise that has been lauded as "the sport of the future" since 1977. Thankfully, that future dystopia has never come.

Chuck Klosterman
It doesn't matter what you can do if you don't know why you're doing it.

Chuck Klosterman
Necessity used to be the mother of invention, but then we ran out of things that were necessary. The postmodern mother of invention is desire; we don't really need anything new, so we only create what we want.

Chuck Klosterman
We all believe that we are a certain kind of person, but we never know until we do something that proves otherwise, or until we die.

Chuck Klosterman
Punk was perfect for lazy people, because anyone could do it—you didn't even need to know how to play your instrument, assuming you knew how to plug it in. There was really no difference between Sid Vicious and anyone in London who owned a bass.

Chuck Klosterman
Life is rarely about what happened; it's mostly about what we think happened.

Chuck Klosterman
People who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation.

Chuck Klosterman
Every time I learn the truth about something, I'm disappointed

Chuck Klosterman
I remember saying things, but I have no idea what was said. It was generally a friendly conversation. —Associated Press reporter Jack Sullivan, attempting to recount a 3 A.M. exchange we had at a dinner party and inadvertently describing the past ten years of my life.

Chuck Klosterman
Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

Chuck Klosterman
The goal of being alive is to figure out what it means to be alive.

Chuck Klosterman