Chuck Klosterman Quotes

82 Sourced Quotes

In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever in and of itself.

Chuck Klosterman
The falling flakes were random and without purpose; the snow was drunker than she was.

Chuck Klosterman
Football allows the intellectual part of my brain to evolve, but it allows the emotional part to remain unchanged. It has a liberal cerebellum and a reactionary heart. And this is all I want from everything, all the time, always.

Chuck Klosterman
Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll.

Chuck Klosterman
Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music.

Chuck Klosterman
That's like comparing apples with hermaphroditic ground sloths.

Chuck Klosterman
Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow with time (like a twig floating on the surface of the water).

Chuck Klosterman
Americans have become conditioned to believe the world is a gray place without absolutes; this is because we're simultaneously both cowardly and arrogant. We don't know the answers, so we assume they must not exist.

Chuck Klosterman
When Arthur Schlesinger Sr. pioneered the 'presidential greatness poll' in 1948, the top five were Lincoln, Washington, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, and Jefferson. Only Wilson appears to be seriously fading, probably because his support for the World War I-era Sedition Act now seems outrageous; in this analogy, Woodrow is like the Doors and the Sedition Act is Oliver Stone.

Chuck Klosterman
People who are wrong during particularly important moments inevitably spend the rest of their lives trying to explain how their wrongness was paradoxically correct, or-at the very least-why their wrongness "felt right at the time," which is very, very different from being authentically correct.

Chuck Klosterman
Let's face it: Sadness and evil are always more believable than happiness and love. When a movie reviewer calls a film "realistic," everyone knows what that means—it means the movie has an unhappy ending.

Chuck Klosterman
The things he did on purpose were usually no different from the mistakes he made by accident.

Chuck Klosterman
Saying you like "Piano Man" doesn't mean you like Billy Joel; it means you're willing to go to a piano bar if there's nothing else to do

Chuck Klosterman
As of right now, I am in love with her, and that love is the biggest problem in my life.

Chuck Klosterman
The strength of your memory dictates the size of your reality

Chuck Klosterman
The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time.

Chuck Klosterman
The deeper reality is that I'm not sure if what I do is real. I usually believe that I'm certain about how I feel, but that seems naive. How do we know how we feel?…There is almost certainly a constructed schism between (a) how I feel, and (b) how I think I feel. There's probably a third level, too—how I want to think I feel.

Chuck Klosterman
Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake. Every comparison becomes impractical. This is why the impractical has become totally acceptable; impracticality almost seems cool.

Chuck Klosterman
We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is; living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection of individualized deaths.

Chuck Klosterman
Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less.

Chuck Klosterman
I doubt that pornography has been good for the advancement of society, but I suspect it's done wonders for the advancement of computer technology.

Chuck Klosterman
When given the choice, we'd all rather be happy now … even if that guarantees we'll all be sad later.

Chuck Klosterman
What is going to happen in the course of my day that will be an improvement over lying on something very soft, underneath something very warm, wearing only underwear, doing absolutely nothing, all by myself?

Chuck Klosterman
But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.

Chuck Klosterman
We assume that all statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it's too weird to imagine people who aren't casually lying, pretty much all the time.

Chuck Klosterman
The villain is the person who knows the most but cares the least.

Chuck Klosterman
Observing someone without context amplifies the experience. The more we know, the less we are able to feel.

Chuck Klosterman
I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack.

Chuck Klosterman
What my mom failed to understand was that I didn't even want long hair — I needed long hair. And my desire for protracted, flowing locks had virtually nothing to do with fashion, nor was it a form of protest against the constructions of mainstream society. My motivation was far more philosophical. I wanted to rock.

Chuck Klosterman
Sometimes I think children are the worst people alive. And even if they're not- even if some smiling toddler is as pure as Evian- it's only a matter of time.

Chuck Klosterman