American Columnist Quotes

Daniel Pipes

Robert Cormier

Oliver North

Dan Savage

Mike Royko

Chuck Klosterman

Herb Caen

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.

There was scarcely a woman alive, it seemed, who could resist the urge to haul men down onto beds, car seats, kitchen floors, dining-room tables, park grass, parlor sofas, or packing crates, entwine warm thighs around them, and pant in ecstasy.

The sheep are down at the water, a-drinkin' their bloomin' fill,
An' me and the dog are dozin', as herders and collies will;
The world may be movin' somewheres, but here it is standin' still.

The best employees are show-offs. They know they're good and want a chance to prove it. They want to get into the game.

The Jewish connection to Jerusalem is an ancient and powerful one. Judaism made Jerusalem a holy city over three thousand years ago and through all that time Jews remained steadfast to it.

Take me to the driest county in the most conservative state, and in two hours this determined hedonist will find you all the drugs, whores, and booze you'll need to pass an eventful weekend.

My thoughts are like waffles—the first few don't look so good.

Marilyn vos Savant

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Steve Jobs has created his own precious little walled garden. He's looking more and more like Howard Hughes, holed up in his penthouse, making sure he doesn't come in contact with any germs. Now Google is saying, hey, nice garden, have fun sitting in it. By yourself.

It's much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it is easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.

Behold the mighty Dinosaur, Famous in prehistoric lore, Not only for his weight and strength But for his intellectual length. You will observe by these remains The creature had two sets of brains— One in his head (the usual place), The other at his spinal base. Thus he could reason a priori As well as a posteriori.

Bert Leston Taylor

The most popular labour-saving device today is still a husband with money.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

William E. Vaughan

Marriage is like a warm bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.

While it is a misfortune to a woman never to be loved, it is a tragedy to her never to love.

'The land of the free' is now the land of the free to be rude...

The beauty of the natural world lies in the details, and most of those details are not the stuff of calendar art.

The attempt to silence a man is the greatest honor you can bestow on him. It means that you recognize his superiority to yourself.

Let me remember that each life must follow its own course, and that what happens to other people has absolutely nothing to do with what happens to me.

Marjorie Holmes

Women without men are usually nervous.... The important thing is to have a man, even if you just like him. Pleasing him, you will please yourself.

There are moments that stop the heart, that catch the breath, that halt the beat of blood in your veins, and you are suspended in time, held between life and death, and you wait for something to bring you back again.

Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll.

Chuck Klosterman

I wanted us to share the sense that the number of wrong moves far exceeds the number of good moves, to share the frightening instability of the correct decision, to bond in being confounded.

Aleksandar Hemon

When you're a single parent, you're often lonely, yet seldom alone. There is no backup... It is mothering without a net.