Will Cuppy Quotes

136 Sourced Quotes

He [Julius Caesar] stayed in Egypt from early October until late in June settling affairs of state. It was a boy and they called him Caesarion, or Little Caesar, so Cleopatra now regarded herself as practically engaged. Caesar might have married her, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

Will Cuppy
Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.

Will Cuppy
The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.

Will Cuppy
Etiquette…means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

Will Cuppy
Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

Will Cuppy
Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

Will Cuppy
Although this structure [the Great Pyramid of Giza] failed as a tomb, it is one of the wonders of the world even today because it is the largest thing ever built for the wrong reason.

Will Cuppy
After a while Louis let her [du Barry] draw her own drafts on the comptroller-general. It saved time and bother in a field he much disliked. Jeanne never took more than she needed for urgent current expenses — that is, whatever was in the treasury.

Will Cuppy
Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!

Will Cuppy
An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?

Will Cuppy
The Bayeux Tapestry is accepted as an authority on many details of life and the fine points of history in the eleventh century. For instance, the horses in those days had green legs, blue bodies, yellow manes, and red heads, while the people were all double-jointed and quite different from what we generally think of as human beings.

Will Cuppy
Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

Will Cuppy
The Zebra is striped all over so that the Lion can see him and eat him. Some people say he is striped so that the Lion can not see him. These people believe that the stripes of the Zebra simulate the bars of sunlight falling through the tall jungle grasses and that therefore the Zebra is invisible and that the earth is flat.

Will Cuppy
The Franks had all been German at first, but some of them had taken to eating frogs and snails and were gradually turning into Frenchmen, a fact not generally known at the time because there were no French as yet.

Will Cuppy
In the Pleistocene Era, there were more than twenty kinds of elephants. Now there are only two. That's plenty.

Will Cuppy
To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard work per se will somehow make him a better Beaver — the Beaver may be dumb, but he is not that dumb! The Beaver was made to gnaw, and gnaw he does. There you have him in a nutshell.

Will Cuppy
The Aztecs were very sore, because Montezuma had no business giving the national treasury to every Tom, Dick, and Harry who wanted it. So Montezuma appeared on the roof of the palace and told them that Mexico had definitely turned the corner and everything would be all right from then on if they would just leave it to him. And one of the Aztecs picked up a big rock and hit Montezuma on the head with it, and that was the last of Montezuma II.

Will Cuppy
The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.

Will Cuppy
Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.

Will Cuppy
Charlemagne's strong point was morals. He was so moral that some people thought he was only fooling. These people came to no good.

Will Cuppy
The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.

Will Cuppy
I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.

Will Cuppy
As Catherine learned later that night [her wedding night], Russia makes strange bedfellows. Peter got into bed with his boots on, played with his collection of dolls for an hour or so, and told the Grand Duchess about his new mistresses. He had no mistresses, really, but he thought he had. It was all in his head.

Will Cuppy
I think you are absolutely right about everything, except I think humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.

Will Cuppy
The fact is that building a pyramid is fairly easy, aside from the lifting. You just pile up stones in receding layers, placing one layer carefully upon another, and pretty soon you have a pyramid. You can't help it. In other words, it is not in the nature of a pyramid to fall down…

Will Cuppy